I Can Still Recall Our Last Summer
by malectho
Summary: Alec Lightwood had his first kiss at summer camp when he was fourteen years old. He's spent the past four years trying to forget that it ever happened. But what happens when that person shows up at his school? It's like the universe doesn't want him to forget. (Malec High School AU).
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's finally here! You guys wanted a high school AU, so I'm doing it. The chapters won't be uploaded on a schedule, most of them will be uploaded pretty randomly. My school schedule is really starting to get crazy. Luckily writing Malec is my favorite thing to do in my spare time. Almost every chapter will also have a flashback so that means FETUS MALEC! Finally, because this is going to become my main project, I'll be updating my one shots less.**

 **This chapter isn't that good. I promise it will get better.**

 _Four Years Ago, Camp Idris_

" _Magnus," Alec said following the boy through the woods."We should be at the bonfire. We aren't supposed to wander off on our own."_

" _Calm down," Magnus said, his voice was little farther ahead of him. "It's the last day what are they going to do, kick us out?"_

" _What if we get caught and they tell our parents?" Alec whispered as if anyone could hear them way out here._

" _Alexander-" Magnus said._

" _Don't call me that." Alec interrupted him._

" _Alexander," Magnus ignored him. "You need to stop worrying about what your parents think about you and live a little."_

" _We're only fourteen," Alec pointed out. "What do you know about living."_

" _More than you," Magnus countered. Suddenly, Magnus stopped abruptly in front of him, and Alec almost crashed into him._

" _Are you finally going to tell me what we're doing here," Alec asked him."I'm pretty sure Kathy Dilores was going to ask me to dance with her before you pulled me away."_

" _You and I both know you aren't interested in Kathy Dilores," Even in the dark, Alec could see Magnus smirking, and he was sure that Magnus could see him blush._

 _For a summer night, it was actually quite cold. He brought his arm to his chest, and wished that he was still by the fire. "Tell me why you dragged me out here?"_

 _Magnus dropped the backpack he had slung over one shoulder onto the ground. He unzipped It and started pulling stuff out, whilst holding a small flashlight in his mouth. Alec watched as he put item after item on the ground._

" _Are those candles," Alec questioned._

" _Hey you, close your eyes," Magnus demanded._

" _What? So you can run off and leave me in the middle of the woods," Alec said with a laugh._

" _I would never do that to you, Alexander," Magnus said sounding genuinely hurt._

 _Feeling guilty, Alec shut his eyes, and decided to trust the boy he grown close to this summer. In the distance, Alec could hear some Katy Perry song blaring from the stereo at the bonfire. All of her music sounded the same to him, but his little sister listened to that particular one over and over again._

 _You think I'm funny,_

 _when I got the punch line wrong._

 _I know you get me so I let my walls come down, down_

 _Before you met me, I was all right_

 _But things were kind of heavy_

 _You brought me to life_

 _After about ten minutes, Alec felt his Magnus' warm hands in his freezing ones._

" _How are you always so cold," Magnus mumbled._

" _Can I open my eyes now," Alec said impatiently._

" _Go ahead," Magnus assured him._

 _Alec didn't know what he had been expecting, but it definitely wasn't this. Candles were set up everywhere, and there were so many that in the darkness, he could see everything clearly. There was a picnic blanket set up to the side. In the center of the clearing, there was a telescope, already pointed at the stars._

" _This is definitely a fire hazard," Alec said his voice cracking._

" _Oh my god," Magnus said sounding exasperated. "Won't you appreciate a romantic gesture when someone gives it to you."_

" _Nobody has ever done anything like this for me before," Alec said quietly. "How did you even…"_

" _I snuck into the Science Lodge last night and stole the telescope and stashed it in the bushes," Magnus explained. "You're always talking about how you want to know what's out there. Now you can find out."_

 _My heart stops_

 _When you look at me_

 _Just one touch_

 _Now baby I believe_

 _Alec's eyes stung as he fought to hold back tears. He had never really been one to show emotions. He liked to keep them buried deep down because he thought that his feelings were ones that nobody would ever accept._

 _In that instant, he had no idea what he was doing. Before he knew it he had grabbed Magnus' shirt and pulled him close and kissed him. You hear stories about first kisses, but Alec had always thought they were exaggerated. Now he knew they weren't. It was truly magical. Once in a lifetime._

 _Eventually Alec pulled back, and he could see the disappointment on Magnus' face. Alec still kept hold of a fistful of Magnus's shirt, their foreheads pressed lightly together._

" _Do you know any constellations?" Alec asked, breaking the stunned silence._

" _No, but I can make up my own constellations for you," Magnus breathed. "Hell I'd give you the moon, Alec Lightwood."_

Present Day

If there was one thing that Alec knew for certain after four years of high school, it was that he didn't do well in classes with windows. To him, windows were meant to be stared out of. They were made to allow someone to contemplate life, and if there was something more for you out there.

It was probably why he had a C in English. He wasn't a bad student, in fact he usually got A's and B's. If you gave him the chance and enough time, the boy could write a story that was make your heart leap and soar. It was just that damn window made it impossible for him to focus on anything the teacher was saying. Nothing could pull his attention away from it.

"What do you even get for an anniversary," Jace was saying but Alec was only half listening. "I mean I've never dated a girl this long."

"Yeah definitely," Alec said as he watached a blue bird build a nest in a maple tree a few feet away from the window.

"Hey," Jace complained and snapped his fingers in front of Alec's face. "Would you please help me. I don't know what to get Clary."

"How about a gift card," Alec said throwing his hands up in the air.

"Why am I even asking you," Jace said running his hands through his thick, golden hair. "You've never even been in a relationship."

"Just take her out to dinner," Alec suggested, upset about the fact that Jace had brought up his eternal singleness. "And then get her something artsy, she likes that crap right?"

The bell rang, and like a soldier being summoned to battle, Mrs. Imogen sprang from her seat behind her desk and made her way to the front of the class."

"Let's talk about it during soccer practice," Jace said, and Alec sighed, knowing that this meant the conversation wasn't over.

"Good morning class," Mrs. Imogen began. "Today we are going to discuss last night's reading, but first-"

The door swung open, and everyone turned their heads to see who was coming in. Usually people knew that if you were discreet enough, you could show up late without the older woman even noticing.

A boy strode in not even bothering to look at the class. He was sure that he wasn't in this class, but there was something vaguely familiar about him.

"Can I help you," Mrs. Imogen asked with one hand resting on her cocked hip.

"Sorry I got lost," The boy said. "This place is huge." A couple of kids snickered, and Mrs. Imogen shot them looks, but it didn't seem to bother the boy at all. It was like he wanted the attention.

 _It was like he wanted the attention._

No. It couldn't be.

He lived with his mom and step father in Delaware.

"You're a senior, after four years I think you'd know the school well enough to find this class," Mrs Imogen said. She looked at him closer, squinting a little this time, and then raised an eyebrow quizzically. "I'm sorry, what's your name son? I don't believe you are in this class."

The boy fished around in the pockets of his leather pants and pulled out a blue slip of paper. "I'm new," He explained. "I just moved here from Delaware."

 _Shit._

"Oh well that must be difficult; seeing as this is your last year of high school," Mrs. Imogen looked like she actually pitied him. "What did you say your name was?"

"Magnus Bane," He introduced himself and then handed her the blue sheet of paper.

This could not be Magnus. The Magnus he knew wore t-shirts and kept his hair short. The boy in front of him was dressed head to toe in dark colors and leather pants, he wore so much glitter that he seemed to sparkle, and his hair was thick and spiked up at random angles.

For the first time, Magnus turned and scanned the class, as if he was trying to judge all of them. Many people stared at the desk, suddenly not feeling so comfortable after laughing the new guy. His eyes were gold and almost cat like, but while most people saw coldness, Alec saw warmth.

There was a moment where Alec thought that Magnus' gaze was resting on him. Alec thought there was no way Magnus recognized him, especially since he hadn't recognized Magnus. Instead, he realized, Magnus was staring at Jace, who was the only person bold enough to actually meet his eyes.

"Ah yes, I completely forgot, I got an email about you last week," Mrs. Imogen laughed and brought her hand to her face. "I guess I really am getting old."

"You? No way," Magnus said with the same charm he had used to get out of trouble during summer camp, it even made mean old Imogen blush.

"Okay well take a seat anywhere, these kids refuse to sit in their assigned seats," She eyed Alec as she said it, since he was supposed to be sitting on the other side of the classroom. "Which brings me to what I was about to do before our new student joined us. Since you refuse to sit where I put you, I can't take attendance with the seating chart. So instead I'm going to call out your name, and you are going to tell me the quote that you wrote down as your favorite from last night's reading."

The entire class groaned, and many (including Jace) started flipping through their copies of _The Tempest_ frantically, trying to find the quote that they had failed to find the night before. This was just like Mrs. Imogen. Sometimes she checked your work, sometimes she didn't, she liked to force you to live on the edge. Fortunately, for once, Alec had done the assignment.

It occurred to him though, that even though Magnus might not recognize his appearance, he would recognize his name. Maybe he could ask to go the bathroom? That would probably just draw to much attention to himself. The last thing he wanted was for Magnus to try and talk to him. He had been doing well keeping his secret from everyone at school, and Magnus might blow it for him.

It seemed like everyone was using either the same quote, or something random that they found on the first page they turned to.

"Alec Lightwood," Mrs. Imogen said flatly.

Magnus, who had been fiddling with one of his rings, looked up and looked in the same direction as everyone else was. Despite the fact that Alec's eyes were glued to his paper, he could feel Magnus staring at him it made his heart speed up just like it had every time he had caught him staring that summer. He tried to speak, but the words just wouldn't come out.

"Mr. Lightwood, did you forget to do the assignment again?" Mrs. Imogen said sourly.

He looked up, and realized that the panic was clear on his face, and Mrs. Imogen had mistaken the reason for something else.

"No I did it," Alec said composing himself.

"Well please don't keep us waiting," She said.

Magnus was still looking at Alec intently. For a moment, he allowed their eyes to meet. In a second all of the memories came rushing back, all of the feelings he had tried to push down were resurfacing. He realized now that the quote he had chosen was some cruel form of irony.

" _Let us not burthen our remembrance with_ _._ _A heaviness that's gone."_

 **A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed chapter one. I'm going to be up all night working on chapter two and hopefully chapter three will be up this weekend. I want to get stuff out to you guys as fast as possible. Also, just for my amusement, what was your favorite quote from this chapter? It's kind of something I've always wanted to know because I actually put a lot of work into some of them and I want to see if you guys actually appreciate it.**

 **In the next chapter, Magnus and Alec will have their very first present day interaction. Also, the rest of the gang will be introduced and you'll get to see their high school personas. I don't know about you, but I am really excited.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all so much for all the love and support you gave me, and after only the first chapter. You guys are why I write. I'm sorry that this is a little later than promised, I just really had to catch up on schoolwork, and more importantly sleep. I'll respond to all of your reviews personally soon. Also I want you guys to feel free to leave constructive criticism if you ever don't like something, or don't understand something. Okay enough of my rambling that's not why you're here.**

When the bell rang, Alec was out of his seat in an instant, practically shoving people out of the way, and doing his best to keep his distance from Magnus. He ran down the hallway with speed that he usually saved for the soccer field, ignoring the stares of people as he pushed past them. All he needed was some air.

The front of the school was crowded, due to it being lunch time, and people going off campus. So he decided that he would go behind the school. Usually the back of the school is people hide out instead of going to class, but even burn-outs had to eat so he figured it would be empty.

Cigarette buds were scattered all over the ground, it wasn't like the school was providing ash trays. There were even poor attempts at hiding crushed beer cans behind the garbage can.

Like he thought, there wasn't a single person back there with him. He shrugged his bag off of his shoulder, and then sat against the brick wall, and brought legs to his chest .

How had he gotten here? What were the odds of this ever happening? The one person in the world that knows his secret suddenly showing up at his school of all places. If there was a god, he was probably having _a hell_ of a time. He should have known the moment he met Magnus Bane that he was going to become a serious pain in his ass.

 _Flashback_

 _Alec's camp counselor looked like a hippie, not hipster a hippie. He had greasy dreadlocks pulled back into a ponytail, and a filthy rat tail growing on his chin. The man reeked of weed, which is probably why he got kicked out of college, although he claimed it was because he wanted to reconnect with nature._

 _They were all sitting in a circle on the floor of the cabin, so they could connect with each other's auras, or some other crap like that. Four other guys were in his cabin, and they all seemed to know each other after coming here their entire life, while it had taken Alec his entire life just to convince his parents to let him leave the city._

 _Right now they were supposed to be introducing themselves, and saying why they were here. Three of the other boys had already introduced themselves and now it was his turn._

" _My name is Alec Lightwood-" He started to say._

" _I knew I recognized you-" A boy named Matthew said jumping up. "You're dad is the governor of New York."_

 _Alec sighed, his dad was in the first year of his first term, and he already had the citizens of New York wrapped around his finger. If only he could say the same about his own son._

" _This is my first year," Alec explained, brushing off the boy's comment. "l actually came here to get away from my father."_

 _For a moment everyone was silent, being made uncomfortable Alec's very abrupt statement. Then, out of nowhere, the only boy left who hadn't introduced himself started laughing hysterically, for no apparent reason._

" _Is there a problem?" Alec asked they boy who was now doubled over in fits of laughter._

" _It's just," He chuckled, "I'm here because my parents don't want me around.""_

 _This guy had a seriously dark sense of humor. He had never met anyone who thought that their parents not giving them enough attention was something to laugh about. Besides, if his parents ever gave him a little space, he'd be much happier._

" _I'm sorry, who are you?" Alec questioned._

 _The boy stopped laughing, the corners of his lips turning into a tight grin. It was easy to tell that he lived for that question._

" _Magnus," He said seriously, but there was an edge to his voice, "Magnus Bane."_

Present Day

Alec leaned the back of his head against the wall. Maybe if he closed his eyes, when he opened them, this would all turn out to be a dream-no not a dream, a nightmare.

It's not like his friends were homophobic, that wasn't the issue. The problem was that if he came out people would treat him differently. He'd get dirty looks in the locker room, hell even Jace might stop letting him crash at his place. Girls might suddenly start coming to him for fashion advice, even though all he wore was v necks, ratty sweaters.

His stomach growled and Alec realized that if he was going to get lunch, he better going. He'd figure this out. Maybe he could just found out where Magnus' locker was and write a note explaining everything, surely that would fix everything.

He felt silly, having freaked out about this. Just because he had a class with, him didn't mean they were going to talk to each other. Plenty people grow in and out of friends, and Alec was sure they had outgrown each other.

Jace and Alec used to sit with a bunch of other jocks and cheerleaders. But the minute he and Clary got together, he kicked them to the curb, and made room for her. To be honest Alec was happy about it, he had always felt so self conscious around them.

Once he had gotten his food, he went to his usual table. Everyone was there except for Clary, but he assumed that she probably went to go and help her mom in the art room or something.

"Hey man," Jace said as he sat down next to him. "Where did you run off to like that? You were acting weird all of class, it was like you'd seen a ghost."

If only his best friend could understand how dead on he was. Magnus really was a ghost, one that had been haunting him for the past four years. Too bad there were no exorcists for memories.

"I just had to do something," Alec muttered staring at his stomach, suddenly losing his appetite.

"Yeah but why were you runn-" Jace started to say, but he was interrupted when someone hugged him from behind.

"Hey sorry I'm late," Clary said, and kissed Jace on the cheek.

"Where were you?" Jace grabbed her arms and pulled her down next to him- well more like on him.

Clary giggled, and before she had met Jace, Clary Fray had never giggled. Nobody had even seen her smile, except for when she was painting. According to Jace, he'd fallen in love with her watching her paint the sunset. All she was wearing today was ripped jeans and a t-shirt, with her hair in a bun that was doing a poor job of keeping the red strands out of her hair, but Jace was still looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

"I'm afraid that's my fault," A darkly dressed boy (who everyone was just now noticing) said from behind her.

"Guys this is Magnus," Clary introduced him to all of them. "Magnus this is everybody. There is a seat open next to Maia." 

Of course Clary would take in the lost puppy, it was just something she would do. And of course the seat next to Maia also happened to be the seat next to him.

For a second, Magnus stared at him, like he was waiting for him to say something. Or maybe he was enjoying Alec's obvious discomfort. Alec just shot him a looking, using his eyes to plead with him to go away.

His heart sank when he watched Magnus grin, the same way he did every time he was going to get himself into trouble. After four years Alec was still able to tell what one stupid smile meant. This was definitely a problem For both of them.

Maia moved her backpack off the chair between the two of them, and Magnus happily took a seat at the table, barely even glancing at Alec.

"So Magnus, what brings you to Alicante High School?" Simon Lewis spoke up for the first time. Simon was Clary's best friend, and Alec was pretty sure that he had a thing for her. But Alec would never say that to Jace, because that would definitely ensure a funeral. He was pretty sure that Clary didn't want to date someone who had killed her childhood friend.

Besides, Alec knew what it was like to have a secret you never wanted anyone to find out.

"My parents and I just moved here from Delaware," Magnus told him.

"And how did you meet Clary?" Jace pressed him, like he was worried about the guy wearing sparkles and guyliner was trying to steal his girlfriend, and not the guy that has spent more time with her than Jace.

"I had art class with her second period," Magnus replied, not at all intimidated by Jace. "She offered to show me where the auditorium was because I have theatre there after lunch." 

"Oh so you have theatre _and_ art," Jace rolled his eyes, "How convenient." As soon as he said it, Clary elbowed her boyfriend in the ribs.

"What can I say I like creating things from nothing. It makes me feel like a god," Magnus said, and Alec could help but marvel at how it was something only he would have the guts to say, and pull off without offending anybody. "Besides if you're worried about me stealing your girlfriend, don't. While I do play for both sides, I usually lean the other way."

"So you're saying…" Jace asked cluelessly, and Clary buried her face in her hands.

"I'm saying I'm a freewheeling bisexual who is more easily attracted to guys," Magnus said smoothly. Alec doubled over coughing, practically choking on his french fry when he heard Magnus say that. How could he just come right out and say something like that.

"Anyways," Clary said, trying to get move everyone away from what Magnus had just said. "Magnus, this is my boyfriend Jace. That is Simon, Jordan, Raphael, Maia, and-"

"Oh I already know who he is," Magnus said when Clary got to him. He could hear his heart rapidly pounding in his chest. Surely he wasn't really going to do this, even Magnus knew that there was a line you should never cross.

"Are you sure?" Alec hinted at him.

"Yeah he's in our English class," Jace pointed out, and Alec prayed that Magnus would just leave it at that.

"No that's not it," Magnus said, and Alec was struggling to find some reason to just get up and leave. Why couldn't he be the kind of person who confronted things instead of running away. In soccer that's what you were supposed to do and that's why he loved it so much. You kept the ball away from other players by running away from them. Unlike in football, he didn't have to worry about getting tackled.

"Then how do you know him," Raphael asked, and Alec was pretty sure that was the first time he had heard him say anything around Clary and her friends. Raphael was the goalie on their team, and the only one who had stayed with them at the table. However he always looked incredibly disinterested in whatever conversation they were having. Even now he looked like he was ready to pull his hair out due to pure boredom.

"His father is the governor," Magnus told them. "I see him on television with him all the time." 

Alec didn't even have time to breathe before Clary chimed in again. "That's right. It's his second term." Like it mattered how long his father had been the tyrant of New York.

Everybody loved his father, well that is, except for his own family. His wife was practically waiting for a moment of weakness so she could divorce him, his 16 year old daughter would rather find comfort in a keg of beer than talk to him, and he was half the reason that his teenage son was still in the closet. Yet he still dragged them to every dinner, every benefit, and every television interview, trying to portray them as the perfect American family.

Alec had never been more thankful when the bell for class rang, and everyone began to disperse. Everyone except for Magnus, who was pretending to check his phone, but Alec could tell that he wanted to talk alone. Truthfully so did he, he wanted answers to all of his questions. For example, where the hell did he get off trying to screw up his life.

"So what's your deal, Bane?" Alec asked trying to come off as fearless as possible, but he wasn't fooling anyone with the sweat dripping from his forehead. "Why are you really here?"

"Excuse me?" Magnus asked crossing his arms and leaning back in his chairs. "My step-father got a job here so we moved."

"Cut the crap, your dad is an accountant. They're a dime a dozen in New York, nobody would have to go to Delaware to find one," Alec spat. "Besides you told me your parents hated the city. You grew up in the suburbs. So I'm going to ask you again, why are you here?"

"Okay Alec, if anybody here is a dime a dozen here it's you," Magnus said and for the first time he sounded defensive. "If you want to know the truth you're just trivial. You were trivial back then too. You need to get over yourself if you really think I moved here to find some random person I kissed at summer camp four years ago. If I did that with every person I would never stay in one place for more than a month. Now I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to worry, I'll keep you're secret. But if you want my advice it's doing you more harm than good."

With that, Magnus picked up his brown satchel and threw it over his shoulder, before hastily making his way past him, leaving Alec alone in the empty cafeteria.

He would be late for class now, but he didn't care. Magnus was right, he was trivial. This was good news. Wasn't it? Magnus was going to keep his secret, and he didn't care about him. All of this was just some crazy coincidence.

Still Magnus had called him trivial, completely ordinary. Alec had always felt this about himself, in fact he had made it part of his identity. Yet hearing Magnus say it felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest.

He'd learn to deal with the pain. He always did.

 **A/N: Well that was certainly not worth the wait now was it. Sorry for the short, and painful chapter. I promise it will pick up after this. Also sorry it was so late. I had so much school stuff and then I got a nasty case of writers block. I had to create a Malec playlist on Spotify just to get my inspiration back. Hey, if any of you all ever want to listen to it, here you go:** . /playlist/2c5owKEYXbRxq9nDTOMltZ **It's basically all the songs that remind of me Magnus, Alec, and most of all Magnus and Alec together. I'm not even close to it being done adding to it, but hey, it helps me write and think about them, so check it out if you're ever bored.**

 **Also I'm in the market for an editor to help me out with my editing. I would prefer it if English was your first language. I basically just need somebody to help me with my grammar. You'd get to read every chapter early. If you'd like to help a girl out PM me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I've said it before and I'll say it again, you guys are the best. I was really hesitant about posting the last chapter because I thought it sucked but you guys gave me so much positive feedback I was so overwhelmed. Tell me what you guys want to see in the next chapter and if there is a common theme in your answers I'll try to write it in because I love you guys and I want to show it. Okay so enough of this on to the story. (I skipped to the next day, even though that's kind of crappy writing, I had no other ideas.) Oh and guess who's coming in next chapter…Isabelle. I've been saving her because she's my precious little snowflake and she needs the perfect entrance that will highlight her perfection. (Raphael is also a precious snowflake but he's going to have a big part soon so I figured entrance wasn't as important)**

"I don't see what the big deal about that guy is," Jace complained as he sat down in the seat next to Alec. "He looks like a rat soaked in glitter."

"You're just jealous," Alec said and tried to come off jokingly, but in reality he was defending Magnus. Why he felt the need to, he didn't know, especially after what he had said to him yesterday. He _knew_ he was trivial; he tried to be trivial, because when you're trivial nobody thinks there can be anything different about you. But somehow hearing someone else say it, and have that person be Magnus (the only person to make him feel like he wasn't), made it hurt.

"I am not jealous," Jace assured him. "I just don't get why everyone is fawning over him."

"They want to make him their pet gay," Alec said simply.

"Their what?" Jace looked at him puzzled.

"They want a gay friend that they can take shopping and talk about boys with," Alec explained, cringing his nose in disgust. "At least that's what Izzy told me. She also said that his whole 'chill mysterious dark' personality is totally in right now."

Sure enough, Magnus had already grabbed the attention of Aline Penhallow and Camille Belcourt, the co-head captains of the cheerleading team. Before Clary, Aline was the girl that Jace had dated the longest. For awhile, Alec and everybody else thought that their relationship might go somewhere, but it was suddenly over with no explanation from either of them. Whenever Alec asked, Jace just shrugged it off or told him to drop it.

Alec was watching Magnus make a show of telling Camille and Aline a story, when the bell rang. Mrs. Imogen shuffled into the classroom, a stack of papers in her right hand. She scanned the class, looking at every student, and then back at the paper on the top of her stack, before nodding, as if she was assuring herself of something.

"Okay class, it's time for the best day of the year, semester projects," Mrs. Imogen said her voice dripped with sarcasm and lacked any enthusiasm. "This semester you will be doing a presentation on a book of your choosing, that you believe has had a direct impact on society at any point in history. Along with a presentation that is at least twenty-five slides, you will be writing a summary of the novel. Now the big part of the project is that I want you to reenact what you feel is the most important scene from the novel. And yes, you will be writing the script yourself."

The class groaned in unison, everyone besides Alec, was not a fan of writing.

"Lucky for you, I am a very generous person. I have decided to let you work with a partner," As she said this students began to turn to each other instinctively, however Mrs. Imogen wasn't done. "But your partner will be someone of my choosing.

Jace gave Alec a knowing look. Mrs. Imogen knew how close the two were, and in their experience that meant there was no way they would be partners.

"Aline Penhallow and Camille Belcourt," Mrs. Imogen read from her list, which was the first paper on her stack. That was strange, Camille and Aline were like the girl version of Jace and Alec. Inseparable by definition, and therefore insufferable. Maybe he and Jace had a chance after all.

As Mrs. Imogen continued reading, people were constantly getting paired off with their friends. Was Mrs. Imogen going soft?

"Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane," Mrs. Imogen said, and when she said it everyone was confused, but not as confused as Alec.

 _Four Years Ago_

" _What the hell are you just sitting around for," Alec complained. "We aren't going to win the scavenger hunt if you don't try."_

" _It's just a stupid scavenger hunt," Magnus said while lying against a tree. "Calm down."_

" _I like winning," Alec countered through gritted teeth._

" _And I don't care," Magnus waved his hand._

" _You are a terrible partner," Alec complained as he paced back and forth. "How did I get stuck with you."_

" _I would be nicer to me if I were you," Magnus pointed out."That is, if you really do want to win."_

" _You're insane," Alec muttered, and he believed it. This was a guy who when he had first met him, had laughed about his messed up home life. This was a guy that got into all kinds of trouble, that never got caught._

" _But it just maybe a lunatic you're looking for," Magnus said under his breath, but it was just loud enough for Alec to hear._

" _What did you just say?" Alec asked._

" _You know from the Billy Joel song," Magnus said, but Alec just stared at him puzzled. "Hold on. Are you telling me you don't know who Billy Joel is?''_

" _Sorry, I don't, know who he is," Alec said annoyed that they were talking about musicians._

" _Oh Alexander you really are dull," Magnus shook his head._

" _Don't call me that," Alec complained._

" _What, Alexander?" Magnus asked._

" _Exactly," Alec replied._

" _Well Alexander," Magnus said putting emphasis on his name. "You're going to let me call you whatever I want, because you aren't going to win this thing without me."_

 _Magnus wore a sly grin on his face. He felt something that he thought was anger bubble up in his chest. He hated that stupid smile, and his stupid eyes. Those stupid eyes that seemed to follow him everywhere he went._

" _What do you mean by that," He asked._

" _I stole the scavenger hunt map yesterday," Magnus told him. "I know exactly where it is."_

" _I hate you," Alec remarked. "Now where is it?"_

" _I'm not telling you until we have discussed your terrible taste in music," Magnus insisted._

" _I don't have time for this," Alec said, and grabbed the backpack Magnus had on the ground next to him."The map has to be in here somewhere."_

" _Give that back Alexander," Magnus demanded._

" _I said don't call me that," Alec said over his shoulder as he walked away with the backpack._

" _And I told you to give my bag back," Magnus said. Alec could tell that Magnus was getting angry. Since Magnus was usually so laid back and refused to let anything get to him, it was easy to tell that something was off._

 _With one hand he held the backpack, and unzipped it with the other hand, all the while keeping his distance from Magnus. Unfortunately for the both of them, his hand slipped, and the contents of the bag went tumbling out._

 _Before he knew what was happening Magnus had dived in front of him, and was picking up everything in a flash, cradling some of it close to his chest. Guilt instantly washed over Alec. He had never been this kind of person, the kind that caused other people pain. He hadn't realized what he was doing was such a big deal._

" _Let me help you," Alec knelt down on the ground._

" _You've done enough," Magnus shoved him away. What the hell was in that backpack?_

" _I'm serious its fi-" Alec tried to say._

" _The prize is in the birdhouse in the tree I was sitting against," Magnus' voice shook. "Just go away."_

 _Alec still hadn't seen what was in the bag, and he hadn't found out why it was making him so defensive. He decided that whatever it was, was something he wasn't supposed to see, and maybe it was best if he respected his privacy. Besides, he had been here one week and he already knew that you don't make an enemy of Magnus Bane._

" _Fine," Alec said quietly and stood up. As he did he accidently caught sight of a camera laying in the grass. Magnus saw him looking at it, and quickly picked it up and shoved it back in his backpack. Both of sthem knew you weren't supposed to have devices of any kind on the camp grounds. However, Alec was sure that wasn't all Magnus was trying to hide._

 _He was trying to hide something on the camera._

Present Day

Mrs. Imogen spent the rest of class talking about the end of _The Tempest._ He was already paying attention though. The only thing he was hearing Mrs. Imogen say was what was repeating in his head over and over again.

" _Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane."_

This wasn't happening. Magnus had made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing to do with him, or at least, that him being here had nothing to do with him. Now they were going to be spending a whole semester together.

What was he so worried about anyways? Magnus had already swore not to tell anybody he was gay. Was there really any harm in working on a project together that big of a problem, or was he still blowing things way out of proportion? Hell, the only reason this would be a problem was if he liked Magnus.

Which he did not.

The bell rang, and the class became chaos. People were running over to their partners and were trying to schedule time to work together. Even Jace had gone over to talk to Sebastian Verlac. Those two working together was going to be very difficult. Sebastian was the running back, and the football team and the soccer team had two very conflicting schedules.

Alec looked up from his desk and Magnus was making his way over to him. His outfit choice was much different today. He couldn't but realize how easy it was for Magnus to go from one kind of person to another. Yesterday he was wearing dark clothes and leather, and today he was somehow managing to make plaid dress pants work. It was actually making Alec feel self conscious in his grey sweater with holes in the hem. Whenever he was nervous he poked holes in his clothes. It wasn't the most healthy healthy habit, or most inexpensive. Especially since he was nervous all the time.

"Hey," Magnus said sheepishly. "We need to talk."

"I really have to go," Alec stammered.

"Would you just wait," Magnus said, and slammed his hand down on Alec's books, and then lowered his voice, "For once in your life would you just wait."

Alec looked around the class room, everyone had rushed off to lunch, including Jace.

"You have one minute," Alec said.

"I shouldn't have said that yesterday," Magnus apologized. "But what you said was out of line to." He paused for a second, as if he was expecting Alec to return the favor, and apologize, but he stayed silent. "Anyways when do you want to work on this project?"

"Tomorrow after school," Ale suggested.

"Why so eager Alexander," Magnus laughed.

Alec cringed at the sound of his full name. "I'm not eager. It's just the only time I'm free."

"A Friday night is the only time you're free. Why am I not surprised?" Magnus said with a hint of a smile. "Besides I can't make it. I'm going to a party."

"Magnus Bane, only here a couple days and already invited to a party. Why am I not surprised?" It was Alec's turn to laugh. "School is a little more important. Just come over to my place and you'll be out of there in an hour. I'll make sure of it."

"The party is at your house," Magnus mentioned.

"Isabelle?" Alec asked without a moment of hesitation. Their parents were going to Rhode Island for some meeting with the governor there, so of course his little sister would be having a party. Sometimes , no every day, Alec worried about Isabelle. He'd spent night after night waiting for his sixteen year old sister to come home, or for a phone call to say that she never would. And on rare occasions, she would come home completely wasted, and after get nothing more than a disappointed look from their father, Alec would try to talk to her about her problem, and Isabelle would just push him away. Guess it must run in the family.

"Oh I'm very excited for it," Magnus replied and rubbed his hands together.

"I bet you are," Alec chuckled. The two of them were already back to talking like this. He had to remind himself what talking to each other like this led to last time.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Magnus waved his hand goodye.

"Yeah for sure," Alec said casually,

Alec had never been one for parties. But maybe this time he'd make an appearance.

 **A/N: Aww look at Magnus and Alec acting all civil around each other. Guys I just really want to put these two together already, like officially, but I feel like it needs to be a slow burn. Anyways, how about that flashback, what do you think was on the camera? Keep an eye out for the next chapter, because it is time to party, I have something very special planned, that I think you are going to like.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: BY the angel it's been two week since I last posted** _ **anything.**_ **I am so sorry. School is a bitch right now and Spanish is killing my GPA so I had to work on that. As a thank you for being so patient and lovely, I made this extra long, with extra Malec. Like seriously, you guys are going to love this. Or hate it. Maybe both. I'm going to start posting the name of a song with every chapter. It'll just be something for you to listen to while you read it to set the mood. Do what you want with it. Or you could just listen to my Malec playlist on Spotify (Shameless advertising, I know).**

 **Song:** _ **Fall For You**_ **by** _ **Secondhand Serenade**_

 _ **Important Notice: Don't read if you have a problem with reading about underage drinking, or if its triggering. I know most of you probably don't since there is plenty of it in TMI, but I thought I'd warn you.**_

Never in his life, had Alec stayed at a party for so long, it just wasn't his scene. In fact, if the party hadn't been at his house, he probably would have left by now. The music was blaring from the stereo, and he was grateful that they lived in what was probably the only secluded house in New York. If they had neighbors, there would have been complaints piling up by the minute, which might as well be an open invitation for reporters to come see what the governor's children do while he's away.

Their entire family had moved into the house when their father had been elected into office. Apparently their father thought they needed somewhere more private than a penthouse with an army of security guards. Before becoming governor, Alec's dad had been a congressman, but he had come from a very wealthy and important family. Neither of the Lightwood kids really had to go to public school, they could have easily gotten into any private school in New York, but their father made them attend public school in order to "blend in with the citizens."

No matter how hard anyone tried the Lightwood's would never be normal. It wasn't just the endless wealth that seemed to flow from generation to generation, or even Alec, the in the closet eighteen year old. No, it was Isabelle Lightwood, who embodied all that was abnormal of the Lightwood family.

When she was in second grade, Isabelle got suspended from school for two days after attacking a boy who had been bullying Alec (she should have been expelled, but hey, perks of being a Lightwood). In fifth grade, she made a machine that could paint nails perfectly for her science fair project, which she proceeded to break purposefully, so her best friend could win. During seventh grade, she was scoring high on all of her tests, and joining the junior high cheer squad, where she met eighth graders Aline and Camille.

Here she was in high school, taking all AP and honors classes, next in line to take over the cheer squad, _and a total wreck._ She spent her nights partying, and her mornings hung over, in bed; doing her AP Psychology homework, desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Alec had spent countless nights waiting for her to come home, because their parents didn't care enough to do it themselves. Sometimes it seemed like what she was doing was a cry for help, and the more their mom and dad ignored her, the more she acted out. Sometimes, Alec worried that she would push herself to far. Whenever he tried to talk to her, she brushed him off, because it wasn't his attention she wanted.

"Alec!" Isabelle called as she walked up to her brother. "Who knew the institute could be fun right?" The two of them had taken to calling their home "the institute" because of how strict and boring the atmosphere was.

"When is this thing going to be over," Alec asked her. "People are getting drunk and breaking mom's antique vases."

"Well duh Alec," Isabelle said matter of factly. "It's a party, loosen up, dance with a girl, have fun."

"I'm sorry if I don't think dancing with some random girl is going to be fun," Alec sneered. He waited for his sister to get mad at him about his attitude, but instead she was just staring past him.

After a few seconds she spoke up, "Meliron is here, I'll talk to you later." She took a long sip from her red plastic cup, and then started walking away, but Alec caught her by the wrist.

"I thought you and Meliron broke up last week," Alec inquired.

"That was a misunderstanding," Isabelle said, but he could tell by the tone of her voice she was lying. "That girl at the restaurant with him was his cousin from New Jersey. We got back together two days ago."

"You know I don't like him," Alec said in his over protective older brother voice. Meliron, was a senior like him, and the exact kind of guy Isabelle would go for. Captain of the football team, and a total ass. He was constantly cheating on her, then constantly making excuses, and Isabelle constantly forgave him.

"Good thing I didn't ask for your opinion," Isabelle said and pulled her hand away, before walking over to Meliron, drinking from her cup the entire way there.

He wandered around the house for awhile, pushing past throngs of drunk and sweaty teenagers. Eventually, he found Jace, Clary, Maia, and Jordan; sitting on a couch. Maia saw him coming first and acted like he was going to make room for him, but he just shook his head. Sitting between two happy couples wasn't his idea of a good time.

"Where's that Lewis boy," Alec asked, noticing that Clary's shadow was nowhere to be seen.

"Parties aren't really his scene," Clary explained. She was sitting on Jace's lap with her arms wrapped around his neck. Jordan and Maia were in a similar position, except Maia was laying against Jordan, her black combat boots scratching up the leather on the couch. He wasn't going to say anything though, no he wasn't going to be a stick in the mud.

"That makes two of us," Alec muttered to Clary.

"I seem to remember somebody else being the same way," Jace looked down at her.

"Yeah but then I met you," She teased, biting her lip and staring right back at him. "Now I'm all kinds of adventurous."

"Would you two get a room," Alec said, shielding his eyes, PDA had always made him feel uncomfortable. Probably because he had grown up with parents who he very rarely saw show any affection towards each other.

"Aw, well I think that they make an adorable couple," A voice behind them said. "I mean Clary is totally out of his league, but they're cute."

"Thank you, Magnus," Clary said and gave Jace a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"What do you mean she's out of my league," Jace pondered, his drunkenness making him even more clueless than usual.

"I'm sorry what were we talking about?" Magnus asked. Magnus put his arm around Alec's shoulder for support, and although it looked completely normal, Alec tensed at his touch. Yet he didn't push Magnus away because as drunk as he was he would probably fall over.

Alec looked over Magnus, and it didn't take long for him to decide that he won the award for most wasted at the party. Besides the fact that he could not stand on his own two feet, the buttons on his light purple shirt were undone, his hair was all messed up; and not in his usual strategic way, more like a "just got done throwing up in the toilet" kind of way. Not to mention that he could easily smell the alcohol on his breath. Somehow Magnus managed to stumble by just standing there, and nearly caused the both of them to fall over.

"How much have you had to drink," Alec asked, as he push Magnus upright so he was no longer leaning over and putting all of his weight on him.

"You expect me to count how many drinks I had," Magnus laughed. "This isn't math class Alexander."

"Did you just call him Alexander?" Jordan chuckled. Alec ignored Jordan's comment, keeping his attention on the problem in front of him. And this was a problem. If he was calling him Alexander in front of everybody, how long was it going to be until he accidently spilled his secret?

"You're drunk," Alec shouted over the music that had somehow managed to get even louder.

"Everyone here is drunk," Magnus pointed out.

"Yeah well you're extra drunk," Alec countered. "Go home before you do something you'll regret"

"Alec," Clary scolded him in a voice usually reserved for Jace when he was being stupid. "You can't just send him home. He's too drunk, what if he gets hurt, or worse hurts someone else."

"Well what am I supposed to do?"Alec argued.

"Why don't you take him home?" Clary suggested.

"My parents took the keys to my car with them so Izzy and I wouldn't go to any parties," Alec said and then added, "A lot of good that did."

"Here," Jace reached into his pocket and pulled out some keys. "Take mine."

"Since when do you have a car?" Alec asked bewildered.

"Since my foster dad left the keys on the counter," Jace shrugged. "He doesn't know I took it, so if you could be gentle that would be great.

"Why can't one of you do it," Alec protested.

"We've all been drinking," Jace replied, and everyone proceeded to raise their cups. "And I know for a fact, that you're sober."

"Fine," Alec snatched the keys away from Jace. "Come on Magnus."

"Where are we going," Magnus asked looking around, and he realized that Magnus hadn't been paying attention

"I'm taking you home," Alec sighed.

"Let me get another drink first," Magnus said.

"That kind of defeats the point of taking you home," Alec said. "Let's go."

"The car is right out front since we got here early," Jace called after them. Alec had to practically force Magnus out of the house, because when he wasn't falling over, he was getting distracted and trying to walk away.

When they finally got out of the house, Alec was at the point where he was literally dragging Magnus with him. He pressed a button on the car keys, and a grey sedan started beeping. He walked over to the car with Magnus in tow, and then unlocked the doors.

The first thing he did was open the back door and have Magnus lay down in the back seat. Suddenly, Magnus started muttering protests, as if he was finally realizing that he was going home, and therefore leaving the party.

"Would you please stop acting like a two year old," Alec demanded. "Tell me where you live so I can put the address into the GPS on my phone."

"I'm not telling you anything," Magnus said.

"Are you seriously going to make me search your pockets?" Alec asked, and he regretted it the moment he said it.

Magnus' grinned, "Go on, I dare you."

Alec's entire face went pale, his features fixed in a scowl. Quickly, he looked over his shoulder, and saw that everyone was inside the house, and there wasn't a witness in sight.

"I hate you so much, Bane," Alec said through gritted teeth, before leaning into the car more. Magnus had already started laughing like a mad man before he had even started searching the first pocket. While Magnus was obviously amused, Alec was waiting for someone to see them, and get the wrong idea.

Luckily for him, Magnus kept his license in his front right pocket, so he didn't have to look for very long. Surprisingly enough, Magnus had gotten updated it with his new address since he'd moved from Delaware. In fact, he recognized it, it was in an area that he and Izzy were warned to stay away from because it was so dangerous. Why would Magnus be living there? As he slid into the driver's seat, he made the choice not to ask him about it. The two of them knew enough about each other already.

 _Flashback_

 _Every cabin had a wall separating them into two bedrooms, with a bathroom connecting them. The other side of the wall had three beds, while his only had two. The second one, belonged to Magnus. Which is why nobody noticed when he left in the middle of the night, or when he came back about forty minutes later. No one except for Alec._

" _Where have you been?" Alec questioned as he watched Magnus slip off his hoodie._

 _Magnus barely spared him a glance. Ever since the incident with the scavenger hunt, Magnus had been blatantly ignoring him. Not that he cared. It's not like he wanted them to besties and make each other friendship bracelets. The only reason they were on the same half of the room was because nobody else was cool with sleeping in the same room with the out and proud gay dude. However they were perfectly fine with being all buddy-buddy with him any other time, because being friends with Magnus was a free pass to the best summer ever._

 _He was curious though. Insanely curious. His need to know what was on that camera was all he could think about lately. That, along with Magnus himself, and how it should be impossible for somebody to be so open and mysterious at the same time._

" _Take a picture, it will last longer," Magnus muttered when he caught him staring. "Take a picture", was he ever going to let it go?_

" _You know what," Alec huffed, "I don't know why you are so mad at me."_

 _Magnus opened his mouth to respond when suddenly someone burst through the door. Other campers weren't allowed in any cabin other than their own. Especially not in the middle of the night._

 _Startled, they both spun around to see who was barging in at this hour. It took Alec awhile to figure out who she was, but Magnus seemed to recognize her instantly._

" _Kelly," Magnus said, drawing her named out purposely, in an attempt to show his distaste. "I would say it's a pleasure, but well, you know…"_

" _You will call me Ms. Kelly," The head counselor demanded. Counselors weren't supposed to go by their first name in order to promote respect amongst the campers, but at the same time they wanted everyone to think their counselor was their friend. Hence, the Ms, Mr, or Mrs, before the first name._

" _Yeah well I know I'm not going to be calling you Mrs. Kelly anytime soon," Magnus taunted._

" _Why you little-" Ms. Kelly started to scold him, but then seemed to notice Alec there for the first time, and composed herself. "Where is it?"_

" _Pardon me?" Magnus said in a voice that made it sound like he was trying hard to be calm._

" _The memory card for the camera," She responded._

" _I would think that it would be in the camera that you confiscated from me today," Magnus yawned. Then he made a big deal of sitting down in bed, like the conversation was so boring he might fall asleep._

" _It was blank," Ms. Kelly sneered. "I know you switched them out. There is no way you didn't take any pictures with that thing."_

" _Are you suggesting that I snuck into your personal cabin through an open window and switched the memory card with my spare one?" Magnus grinned, and it was easy to see that on some level he was enjoying this. "Because if that's what you are saying it's insane. I mean, isn't the head counselor supposed to stay in their cabin all night in case there is an emergency? Surely you would have heard me?"_

 _Alec had to force himself not to laugh. It was no secret that Ms. Kelly went to a bar down the road from the camp every night. And everyone also knew that she kept a window open so the cabin wouldn't smell like cigarette smoke. All of which were against the rules, and a big no-no._

" _I-I had business to attend to so I wasn't in the cabin," She stuttered. "If you aren't going to tell me where it is, I'll just have to search your cabin for it. Under the circumstances, I have the right to do that, according to the papers you and your parents signed when you registered."_

 _For a second, he could have sworn he literally heard Magnus' heart sink. Magnus scooted closer to the hoodie lying on the bed next to him, the same one he had been wearing when he had returned to the cabin. That was all the confirmation he needed to know that Magnus really had been stealing that memory card. Ms. Kelly noticed it to, and inched closer to him._

" _Magnus was here all night," Alec blurted out. He had no idea where it came from, or why he said it, and he found his voice shaking as he did. Never in his life had he lied to an adult before, and he didn't have the slightest clue why he was doing it for Magnus. A guy who had been nothing but an ass to him lately. "We've been up talking since lights out."_

" _Who are you again?" She asked him._

" _Alec Lightwood." Out of habit he started to reach his hand out to shake, but realized that maybe now wasn't the time."_

" _The governor's son?" She questioned, her voice getting quieter, like it did with all people when they found out who his dad was._

" _Yes," He said, growing more confident. "And since Magnus has an alibi of sorts you have no legal right to search his things. Or, do you want me to call my dad and his lawyers and tell them about you violating the privacy of campers? I might even mention certain safety concerns, like how the head counselor is going out and getting hammered in the middle of the night."_

" _That won't be necessary," Ms. Kelly assured him. "I'm sorry for interrupting. Good night." And just like that she had left the cabin faster than she had come in._

 _Magnus had fallen back on the bed laughing before Alec had even let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "You were amazing Alexander."_

" _Oh so now you're talking to me," Alec mused. "After I totally just saved your butt."_

" _No before I thought you were an annoying goody two shoes who was going to rat me out," Magnus explained. "But you're alright."_

" _Alright?" Alec objected. "After what I just did I think I deserve more than just alright."_

 _Magnus put his finger on his chin for a moment, like he was acting like he was thinking hard about something. "Nope, just alright," He shrugged and then turned off the lamp on the nightstand; between their two beds, and got under the covers. "Sweet dreams, Alexander."_

 _For some reason hearing him say that instead of good night, made him feel funny. Nobody had ever said sweet dreams to him since he was five and his mother used to tuck him into bed. After that he hadn't gotten as much as a good night._

 _The two of them were just lying there for the next the minutes. The only sound they could hear was the other's breathing. Alec couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened. Magnus was seen with the camera then snuck into the cabin so he could steal the memory card. Why would he do something so risky? He'd already been caught with the camera, the damage had been done. The only reason to pull a stunt like that was if there was something on the camera. This meant he was right._

" _Hey Magnus," Alec said softly. "How did you know that Ms. Kelly hadn't looked at those photos? I mean, she's had that camera for hours, she could have looked by now."_

 _It was quiet for the next few moments, and Alec thought that maybe Magnus had fallen asleep._

" _Because," Magnus said breaking the silence. "I wouldn't be here if she had."`_

Flashback

Alec pulled up to Duermot Apartment Complex, and had the urge to make sure the car doors were locked. The place looked more like a cheap motel than an apartment buildings. Rather than have the front doors inside a building, they were all outside, stacked on top of each other like legos.

"We're here," Alec turned in the front seat to face Magnus, who was nothing more than a drunk blob. With a sigh he got out of the car, opened the back door, and grabbed Magnus by the arm. Pulling him out was like carrying dead weight, he had absolutely no help.

"You don't have to get all handsy," Magnus slurred, and his comment made Alec drop his arm as soon as he'd gotten him out of the car.

"Which one of these is yours," Alec asked motioning to the apartments behind him. In all honesty he guessed he could just put Magnus into any room he wanted because the doors looked like they were about to fall off of their hinges.

"I'm not telling you," Magnus stumbled and poked Alec in the chest.

"If you expect me to go through your pockets again you're going to be thoroughly disappointed," Alec swat his finger away. "I promised Clary I'd drive you home and I did. I'm perfectly fine letting you sleep on a bench or something."

They stared at each other for a second, and then without any warning Magnus reached out and grabbed both of his wrists. He squeezed them so tightly that his rings were leaving marks on his wrists. Even so he didn't want to pull away. Every fiber of his being was telling him to pull away, to drive away and never look back. Every part except for his heart, and it was doing more than just telling, it was screaming.

"I lied when I said you were trivial," Magnus admitted, his hands moving down so that their fingers intertwined. "I never ever stopped thinking about you. No matter how many boys or girls I kissed I couldn't forget you, and I don't have a damn reason why."

"You're drunk you don't know what you're saying," Alec tried to explain away Magnus' feelings. This is not what he wanted to hear. Maybe it was what he needed to hear, but it was definitely not what he wanted.

Slowly, he began to untangle their fingers, but Magnus noticed, and held on tighter. This time he pulled Alec in close to him so that their bodies were close together, and kissed him.

This was the third time Alec had ever been kissed. The second time hadn't mattered. The first time had, but certainly not the second. The first one had been with Magnus at camp. And the second…well…he didn't like to think about the second.

Magnus pulled away before Alec had a chance to kiss him back. Not a second passed before Alec was pulling Magnus in for another kiss by the fabric of his shirt.

 _Because he hadn't had a chance to kiss him back._

It was Magnus who was surprised this time, and Alec was enjoying it. Eventually Magnus melted into the kiss with him, bringing his hand up to where Alec's hair met the back of his neck for leverage. In his mind he was comparing this to the second kiss. The kiss where he literally felt nothing. This kiss, however, was full of everything. Life and passion. The fact that Magnus was drunk out of his mind wasn't even a factor. This was real.

When they finally pulled away, it was Alec's turn to lean on Magnus for support. They had their heads pressed together, and somehow Alec's arms had wound up around his neck.

"Why are you here," Alec asked. That was definitely not the time to ask, and he wanted to take it back as soon as he said it. He wasn't thinking clearly at all.

"I have to go feed my cat," Magnus said and backed away, it was like he was stepping out of some kind of trance.

"Wait no-" Alec tried to say, but Magnus was already walking away.

"Sweet dreams, Alexander," Magnus called over his shoulder. Three words had never caused him so much pain. His eyes followed him as he walked to his front door, and when he went inside, and then went inside, without even having to take a key out.

What the hell was he thinking? He shouldn't have done that. There had to be something seriously wrong with him. The best thing to do now was to go home and hope that Magnus would be too drunk to remember what happened.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw something move at the far of the end of the building. There was a porch light on above one of the rooms on the ground floor. There was something familiar about the person leaning against the wall with one leg. It took him awhile to make out who it was, but he got it. It was Raphael Santiago. And he was looking right at him.

Alec put his hands in his pockets and made his way towards Raphael trying to look as intimidating as possible. The thing was he knew nothing scared Raphael. The boy was fearless. He was the type of person who welcomes death and all things dark with open arms.

"Hello Lightwood," Raphael smirked when they were face to face.

"How much of that did you see," Alec cut to the chase.

"All of it," Raphael crossed his arms across his chest. "I found the part where you kissed him back especially interesting."

Alec pinned Raphael to the wall he was leaning against. He raised his fist to punch him, but Raphael just started laughing at him. It was something that reminded him of Magnus, the guy who always laughed at the most awkward times. Somehow that was enough to keep him from beating the crap out of him.

"What do you want Raphael," Alec pleaded, and then let him go. "What is going to keep you from telling people? Do you want money? You obviously need it. Because you living here is news to me."

"I don't want your money," Raphael answered, and then lowered his voice, even though there was no one around to hear them. "I want your silence."

"I'm the one who's supposed to be asking for silence here," Alec raised an eyebrow.

"My father left my mother and we lost the house. Now her, my brothers, and I are living in this crap apartment," Raphael growled, he could tell that his anger was all directed towards his father. "I don't want anyone on the team or at school knowing I live here."

"Fine," Alec said, although he felt like this was too easy. "You keep my secret I'll keep yours."

Alec was about to go, and leave it like that, but Raphael made a noise that sounded like a fake cough.

"I also couldn't help but overhear your conversation," Raphael added. "And in the spirit of our new bond, I feel like I should tell you something. Ever since Magnus moved in, I haven't seen his parents once."

"What do you mean?" Alec asked.

"God your slow," Raphael muttered.

"Just explain yourself," Alec said. He was getting agitated that he had to stay here longer than he had to.

"Fine if I have to spell it out for you," Raphael said exasperated. "His parents don't live here. They never have. It seems that our, and apparently especially your, dear friend Magnus has been lying to us."

So Magnus was lying to him. Why he was not surprised.

 **I hoped you liked that chapter! And I hope it was worth the wait. Again I'm really sorry for how long it took. I might start updating every two weeks, but the chapters will be longer. Like this one was ten pages, that's twice as long as they usually are. Tune in next time, because another Lightwood sibling will be introduced. And you guys will probably want to kill me when you find out where he has been.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello. It's me. I'm in California dreaming about when I used to have the time to update regularly.**

 **Seriously though I am so sorry for not getting this to you guys sooner. I started this chapter over and over again so many times, and once I almost finished. But then something happened to my hard drive and I don't have a laptop any more. I am legit writing this whole thing on an iPad with a keyboard. Thank you so much for your patience. To show how thankful I am, I made a chapter that literally was going to have no Malec in it, to have extra Malec in it. That's right, I turned a filler chapter, into a fill your heart with feels chapter. Also I got tired of this slow burn crap. Let's move on to the forbidden love crap.**

 **And sorry for the crappy intro paragraph. For me the hardest part is the beginning. I probably shouldn't have said this because I just drew attention to it.**

 **Song:** _Kiss Me Slowly, Parachute_

 _Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be,_

 _But with my eyes closed all I see_

 _Is the skyline, through the window,_

 _The moon above you and the streets below…_

Alec always spent his Saturday mornings deciding what comic book he was going to bring his little brother. This time he didn't have anything. He had run out of stuff to bring, and he was going to go buy more at the comic book store Friday, but then Isabelle had her party. Somebody had to make sure people weren't pushing each other off the balcony.

And apparently somebody also had to be Magnus' designated driver. It was strange. He thought that this morning he'd be full of regrets from having kissed Magnus. He was sure that he would hate himself, he should hate himself. But if anything, he felt like he was walking on air. Kissing a guy, it felt right to him. In fact, he had no idea how it could be wrong.

Of course, this didn't mean he was going to come out. No, all this meant was that he was comfortable with himself, and that was a step forward for him. However he was still terrified of what other people were going to think of the real him. Not that being gay should define him, it was just part of who he was. Something he was born with, like hair color, except he couldn't change it with some hair dye. And it wasn't like the people at his school were carrying around anti-gay picket signs while shouting bible verses. They were all surprisingly okay with it, for the most part. The problem is, that to them, once your gay, that's all you are. You are the gay best friend of Jace Herondale. The gay star soccer player. You are gay period. He'd seen it happen to a girl named Helen Blackthorn. When she came out the entire volleyball team, and all her friends supported her, but apparently they started changing on the other side of the locker room.

So he was going to stay in the closet. It was nice in there. The only person that knew that's where he was, was Magnus- and now Raphael. He was going to have to keep an eye on him. While he had information on Raphael that would keep him quiet, he didn't completely trust him. The guy was always playing an angle, even if he seemed quiet.

Isabelle was passed out on the living room floor, cradling a bottle of tequila to her chest. Of course her boyfriend couldn't be bothered to make sure she got to bed. Like always, he was going to have to take care of this Meliron problem.

He gently kicked her leg, and took her grunt as a sign of life. Usually the two of them went to see Max together, but today it looked like she was going to need her sleep, so he decided it best to not even wake her. Alec knew his sister, and she would insist she go. So he took a blanket off of the chair next to her and put it on her.

Last time he checked, there was a notepad on the refrigerator, and he decided it would be a good idea if he let Izzy know that he had left. He went to the kitchen, and over to the fridge, where sure enough; there was a blank notepad, and a pen hanging by a string. Nothing was written on it, because nobody in this family ever wanted to tell each other anything. It had always been like this. His parents were never around, so he had to teach himself right from wrong. Isabelle had gone another direction, deciding to live a life of no rules. And Max, well, Max never had the chance to decide what route he wanted to take.

 _Izzy I went to see Max, I'll be back in a few hours._

As he wrote the last few words, it dawned on him that he had no way to get back, or a way to get there. His parents had taken the car keys. He could call a cab, but it would take awhile for one to get all the way out here on a Saturday, and by then Izzy might wake up and decide she wants to go.

At that moment the doorbell rang, and he peeked in the living room to make sure his sister hadn't woken up. Luckily, she was still asleep, and seemingly undisturbed.

Someone probably just dropping off a package, or wanted something from his father. No visits to his house were friendly "Hi I just want to see how your doing", type of visits.

When he opened the door, his jaw almost dropped; and it took all of his personal control to keep it from falling. This guy had no boundaries.

"Magnus?" He asked. Behind him he could see a beat up black pick up truck. It must have been Magnus', although it definitely had not been there last night. He must have gotten a ride with some friends. The guy had been here a couple days, and had more friends than Alec had made his whole life. Sure, he had the soccer team, but they really only talked about soccer, and who the hottest girls in school were. And Alec really only cared about one of those things. He supposed that Clary's friends might actually be his friends. Although normally he thinks it's just by default because of Jace.

"Hi," He said, his hands were dug deep into the pockets of his dark purple hoodie. How he wasn't freezing to death, Alec didn't know, because it looked like all he was wearing under it was a grey tank. "I came here to talk to you…you know what this was a bad idea maybe I should just go."

"No," Alec blurted out, coming across a bit more needy than he intended. It wasn't that he wanted to talk about the kiss, he just wanted to talk to Magnus. "I mean you came all this way, you might as well say what you want to say."

Magnus smiled, and it wasn't his usual cocky "I enjoy making you squirm" grin, it was boyish and shy. Like he was actually happy. For some reason, Magnus never seemed happy to him, not now, not even back at camp. He would joke around, and live like he could have the whole world if he wanted, but despite all of that there was something missing in his eyes. Almost like he'd been to Hell and back, and wanted to return, because fire and brimstone was so much better than the life he was living now.

"Your shoes are on," Magnus pointed out. Alec looked down, even though he already knew that they were. He just didn't know why Magnus was pointing it out.

"I mean your shoes were on before I opened the door," Magnus explained, he must have seen the confusion on his face. "I know you aren't getting back from somewhere, because I have been sitting outside for the past twenty minutes-"

"Wait, you were what?" Alec interrupted him, breaking out of his momentary confusion.

"Not in a stalker kind of way," Magnus threw his hands up in defense. "I couldn't decide whether or not I should come talk to you. Anyways, unless you are one of those weird uptight households where people wear their shoes everywhere, you were about to go somewhere. I guess I didn't think Alec Lightwood would have a social life."

"I don't, I mean I do," Alec said stumbling through his words like an idiot. "I can't go anymore anyways, I don't have a way to get there."

"Oh," Magnus said simply.

"Actually," Alec began, as something occurred to him, and the fact that he liked the idea so much amazed him. "It was a pretty important thing. And I know this is going to be weird, considering everything that happened, but could you give me a ride."

"I was hoping you'd ask," Magnus said with a grin. It wasn't the shy smile he'd had earlier, but Alec still liked it.

"Thanks, I owe you one bro." The word "bro" felt strange on his tongue. You don't call a guy you practically made out with bro. He'd said it to try to relieve some of the obvious tension, but it just sounded awkward and forced, and he felt like an idiot. Magnus, however, either didn't notice, or was pretending he didn't."

Alec closed the door behind him, and took the key out of his pocket and locked it. It struck him, as he did, that he didn't have a coat. Did people normally wear coats in October? He didn't want to look like an idiot wearing a coat too Magnus, who again, was only wearing a hoodie and tank. But he was cold. Then again, he was always cold. Why did he even care if he looked like an idiot to Magnus anyways? Okay, so he wasn't going to wear a coat, definitely not because of Magnus, but because he just didn't want to go back inside.

He followed Magnus to his car, which was locked, even though they were probably in the safest area of New York. Must be a habit. He was reminded of that place where Magnus lived. It had looked like it had come straight out of an episode of Blue Bloods. And Raphael had told him that Magnus' parents didn't live there.

Once Magnus had unlocked the doors, he slid into the passenger seat beside him. He'd expected his car floor to be filthy, like how it used to be when his friends' moms would have to drive him home from soccer practice, because his parents forgot. In reality it was completely spotless, there were no food wrappers, or empty bottles of Advil. Magnus isn't a soccer mom, he reminded himself.

"So, where are we going," Magnus asked as put the key in the ignition.

"I'm going to see my little brother," Alec staring blankly out of the window.

"Do you mean pick up?" Magnus tried to correct him, and Alec just shook his head. He didn't like talking about. He didn't like explaining it, because it was tiresome. How do you tell someone that your brother has been dying for two years, and at this point you are all waiting for him to die.

"He's at St. Mark's Children Hospital," Alec ran his fingers through his hair, trying to act distracted so he didn't have to meet Magnus' eyes. He didn't want to see pity where there was usually light. "He has Leukemia."

Chronic Myeloid Leukemia, is what the doctors said it was. Although sometimes he wondered if they knew what the hell they were talking about. All of the drugs, all the chemo they'd put him through, wasn't working. Kids Max's age rarely even got CML, it was more common in adults.

"You don't have to explain it all to me," Magnus spoke soft and gentle. The fact that he had said that almost made him want to explain…almost.

They were silent for most of the drive, save the few times where Alec had to tell him where to drive. Sometimes he would try to look at Magnus, only to find that he was already looking at him. Which was honestly not very safe considering he was supposed to be driving.

St. Mark's was probably the best children's hospital in New York. It was also very exclusive. That made it sound like a club, and in some ways that's what it was. Only the rich and important were able to afford having their kids get treatment there, but there were a handful of charity kids with dire illnesses. It was unfair but this was the one time he didn't object to being privileged. It meant that his brother was getting the best doctors.

Magnus pulled into one of the visitor's parking spaces, and Alec has taken his seat belt off before he's even put the car in park.

"When do you need picked up," Magnus wanted to know.

"Why don't you just come in with me," Alec suggested.

"You want me, to come with you to meet your little brother," Magnus said and then added jokingly, "Alexander, I don't think we're at that point in our relationship."

"Oh my god, you know what never mind," Alec said all flustered. After that he got out of the truck, and he could hear Magnus doing the same.

"Hey, wait slow down a minute," Magnus called from the other side of the truck. It had gotten colder outside, and Alec crossed his arms and brought them to his chest. "I was joking, it was just a joke. I mean I'm fine with meeting your brother, I just don't really see why you'd want to."

Alec shrugged, "Well for one thing, I never know how long its going to be, it depends on how he's feeling. Also he doesn't get to meet a lot of new people. It'll be a nice surprise."

When Magnus didn't say anything, or get back into his car, Alec decided to just go ahead inside. Not everyone was okay with seeing a kid die. His parents certainly not, especially his father. While his mother always found time to go see her son, of course his father couldn't be bothered. In his mind sending Max here was enough on his part.

If there was one thing that the hospital didn't spend n a lot of money on, it was security. Apparently, nobody would want to threaten a hospital full of children. There was an old security guard by the main entrance, and he was playing a game of solitaire on a table he had dragged over there. He didn't even glance at Alec.

"Alec Lightwood," Catarina Loss said from behind the front desk. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up today."

"I almost didn't" Alex chuckled, and then strode over to her. "But I got a ride."

"Would that be the tall, dark, and handsome stranger following you like a lost puppy dog," Catarina raised an eyebrow. "Or am I going to have to get Carl to escort him out."

Alec glanced over his shoulder, only to see Magnus standing there, his eyes darting all over the building. He didn't even realize that Catarina was talking about him.

"Yeah that's him," Alec answered.

"You are going to have to tell me where you find all your attractive friends," Catarina said, referring to Jace, who he had brought to visit Max multiple times. "Because I want me some of those."

Alec just shrugged, the way he always did when he got compared Jace. Things like that were probably going to keep happening more often if Magnus kept hanging around. Standing next to Magnus, was like standing next to the sun. You were always going to get outshone.

As if to prove his point, Magnus was suddenly at his side, reaching his hand out for Catarina to shake.

"Magnus Bane," He introduced himself without being asked to, while wearing that trademark grin of his; the one that Alec had, admittedly, become infatuated with. "It's nice to meet you."

"Catarina Loss," She greeted him. Unlike other people, Catarina wasn't blushing like an idiot in fact she didn't even blink. "Alec you know the drill, I need you to sign in."

Alec nodded, and took the pen attached to the clipboard, and wrote his name down. On the list above him he could see that the Blackthorn's were here, or at least they had been. There was a girl here, Emma, that they liked to visit. He was pretty sure none of them were even related to her, but they were here a bunch anyways. The more he thought about it, he didn't even know what was wrong with Emma. When ever he saw her she was up and running around.

He handed Magnus the pen, and instead of waiting for him to move, he reached over him and signed his name. Magnus wrote his in long swooping letters, and like everything Magnus did it made a statement. It was as if he was saying I'm here and you better not forget it.

"Thanks," Catarina said. "Max was awake and happy last time I saw him."

"Okay we'll see you on our way out," Alec waved goodbye, and Catarina just nodded. He watched as Magnus winked at her, and. Alec elbowed him in the ribs. Of course he knew that Magnus wasn't trying to be flirty, he was just being Magnus, but for whatever reason it bothered him.

Magnus clutched his ribs, pretending to be hurt, even though in all honesty he had barely touched him. "Lead the way," Magnus said.

The two of them started walking down the hallway. Everything looked like an ER tv show cliché. Pictures of painted handprints lined the walls, along with posters saying _"It gets better"_ and cats saying _"Just hang in there."_ It was actually quite depressing, especially since the hallways were so dimly lit.

All of a sudden he felt someone crash into him, and it caused him to fall back into Magnus, who promptly caught him. For a second Magnus just held him there, before he pushed him up.

"Ally," He heard Emma say, obviously unapologetic for almost making him fall over. "I heard you were here."

"Ally?" Magnus snickered.

"Shut up," Alec snapped at him. When he had first met Emma, she had misheard him when he introduced himself, and the nickname Emma had stuck with her.

"Ally, guess what?" Emma said, bouncing on her heels with excitement.

"What?" Alec asked, and he chuckled. He loved seeing Emma when he was here, she was full of energy, and this place was always so dreary and sad.

"The doctors say I can leave soon," Emma squealed.

"That's-that's great," Alec had to fake a smile. He couldn't even count the number of times a doctor had told him that Max would be going home soon. Even if this was true, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Max had been here way longer than Emma, and he could barely leave bed most days.

Emma clapped her hands and laughed, before running away from him. Alec turned towards Magnus who was frowning, and he saw sadness in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Alec asked.

"It's nothing," Magnus shrugged. "She just looked so sick."

"Really?" Alec questioned. Whenever he saw Emma she seemed fine. Actually, all the kids here seemed fine too him compared to his little brother.

They walked a couple more feet down the hall until they came to the room at the very end. Max's name was on a little sign, drawn in blue letters, his favorite color. There were some superhero stickers all over it. Isabelle had put those on there, against the janitor's wishes, since it was nearly impossible to get off.

"Before we go in there,". Alec whispered so Max wouldn't hear them through the thin walls. "My brother is totally sweet. But he's been cooped here for so long, he's, kind of forgotten what it's like to socialize with other people."

"He's a kid," Magnus said.

"Just-you'll see," Alec muttered. He opened the door, and wasted no time going into the room. Max was laying in the bed, the tv was on in front of and he was watching an episode of _Ultimate Spider-Man._ Or at least it looked like he was watching, he might just be staring blankly at the tv screen.

"Hey Max!" Alec exclaimed.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't show up," Max beamed and turned to him.

"Are you kidding?" Alec said. "There is no way I would miss this for anything."

Max's grey eyes shifted too Magnus, and when they landed on him it looked like they way were looking right through him. It hadn't always been like that; he used to be so full of life. Now he spent all of his time in bed; watching infomercials or reruns of Gilligan's Island.

Magnus was probably quite the sight for him to take in. Compared to the drab plainly dressed Lightwoods he was used to seeing; Magnus was a rockstar. Jace was probably the most interesting person he'd ever seen, and while Jace was captivating in his own way, he didn't drown himself in three pounds of glitter every morning.

"Are you gay," Max asked flatly.

"Max!" Alec exclaimed, his eyes went wide. He gave Magnus a "I warned you" look, but as always nothing seemed to faze Magnus.

"I'm bisexual," Magnus told him, ignoring the fact that Alec was glaring at him, begging him to stop talking. His father believed that someone could chose to call themselves gay, even though he didn't believe in it. But he didn't believe in all of those "fancy" terms for confused. Not that he believed in any kind of homosexuality. Rest assured, Robert Lightwood make this very clear every time he visited his _nine_ year old son. Because in his mind, Max needed to know what was going on beyond the _comfort_ , of the hospital walls.

For a minute Max just stared at him like he was an alien from outer space. "I've never met anyone who is gay…" He started, and then noticed that Magnus was about to correct him. "Or bisexual."

"You probably have. They say one out of ten people are gay," He shrugged, and risked a glance at Alec, who glared at him again. Max, who was usually very observant, didn't seem to notice. He appeared to be very deep in thought.

"That is so cool," Max said, surprising Alec. For a moment he saw the old Max, the one that was curious and enjoyed everything about life. It really warmed his heart. "I want to meet all kinds of people before I die. Alec doesn't have a lot of cool friends, except for Jace. Jace is great. Have you met him?"

 _Die._ The word hit Alec a thousand knives stabbing him in the heart. He tried not to think about Max dying because he just couldn't accept it. Yet here was his little brother, talking about what he thinks is an inevitable death so nonchalantly.

"You're going to be fine," Alec reassured him. "You heard the doctor you'll get to go home soon."

Max closed his eyes and sighed. "Come on Alec get your head out of your ass."

"Max don't say that," Alec demanded. "Where did you even hear that?"

"Dad went out in the hallway to take a call when he came to see me two months ago," Max replied. "He was yelling 'Parker get your head out of your ass'."

Two months ago. That was the last time his father had come to see Max. He could put that in the top ten reasons for why he hated his father.

"That doesn't mean you should say it," Alec responded. "In fact you shouldn't say a lot of the stuff dad says. It could get you in a lot of trouble when you get out of here."

"I'm not an idiot big brother," Max said. "I watch the news all day. I know what to say and not to say."

"You like comic books?" Magnus asked. He was either oblivious to the fact that he was interrupting their conversation, or he did it on purpose cause he saw where it was going. Alec followed Magnus' eyes to where they were staring at a stack of comic books.

"Yeah, my favorite is Captain America," Max told him. "Except Alec always buys them out of order and I don't know which to read first, so it gets confusing."

"Oh, really?" Magnus mumbled. He proceeded to walk over to Max's nightstand and started skimming through the stack. Soon, he had stopped at one and pulled it out of the large stack, and tossed it on Max's lap. "This is the first issue. But you are missing the second and third."

Max grinned, and opened it up to the first page and he winced. "I'm starting to get another head ache Alec."

"Do you want us to leave?" Alec offered, putting his hand on his brother's forehead. He used to have bangs that covered it, but now the chemo had made him bald. Max just nodded and turned around so he was facing the wall.

"Hey Magnus, go with my brother the next time he goes to the comic book store and get the second and the third, alright?" Max asked.

Magnus chuckled, but he was frowning. "Sounds like a plan."

The two of them left the room, walking side by side, so close that their shoulders were touching. At first Alec didn't know why Magnus was standing so close, then he realized that he was shaking; he must have been scared that he would fall over.

Max had never looked that bad. He had always managed to talk a longer than that, and somehow he had managed to look more pale and sickly than ever. His parents needed to talk too the doctor. There had to be some sort of treatment plan they hadn't tried yet. All he wanted was for Max to be able to make it to Christmas this year. Just a couple more months.

"Do you want to go get a cup of coffee," Magnus asked when they both got outside.

"Why did you come and talk to me today?" Alec wondered out loud.

Magnus scratched the back of his head and then bit his lip, something he always used to do when he was nervous. "The project," Magnus said, but Alec could tell he was lying, due to the fact that he wouldn't meet his eyes. "So do you want to get that cup of coffee or not?"

"Sure," Alec agreed. "There is a coffee place that's not far from here. We could walk."

Java Jones was the kind of coffee shop you'd see on tv. It resided on the corner of Nowheresville New York, where a bunch of wannabe writers came to write their manuscripts and three hundred word fanfiction. You'd also find the occasional hipster drinking a cappuccino, staring longingly out the window like they were in an Avril Lavigne video. Clary and Simon brought him there…of course.

When they got there, Alec took a quick look around the place to make sure nobody he knew was there. A band was setting up for a show later tonight on the small stage in the back, and everybody else looked like a college student trying to write papers or study their material, and resisting the urge to throw their own hot lattes in their own faces. God he couldn't wait to go to college.

Alec got a simple coffee, while Magnus ordered something Alec couldn't repeat back to you if he tried. It was one of those fancy drinks and Alec would never understand their appeal. The barista didn't seem to mind though, she must get those kind of orders all the time. As he took his coffee off of the counter, he reached into his pants pocket for his wallet, but all he felt were the two holes at the bottom. Him going with Magnus was last minute, he hadn't grabbed anything.

Miraculously, before he could come up with some lame excuse for why he was returning the coffee he had already taken a sip from, Magnus was paying for his drink.

"You drove me you really don't have to pay," Alec said. He felt bad, realizing that he probably had more money than Magnus.

"It's not a big deal," Magnus promised handing the cashier a few crumpled up bills.

The two of them walked over to a booth in the corner of the coffee shop. Magnus sipped his coffee across from him and he just stared.

"So you kissed me," Magnus said just as Alec was taking a sip of his coffee, and it almost spit it everywhere.

"What the hell, man?" Alec said taking a napkin and wiping his mouth.

"Just trying to clear the air," Magnus sat back in the seat and raised an eyebrow. "You're cute when you're flustered."

"Shut up," Alec shook his head. "Besides you kissed me."

"Okay but I was drunk," Magnus countered. "You were sober and after I kissed you, you kissed me."

"Yeah-well," Alec put his face in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"It's okay, it was a drunken mistake, well I was drunk," Magnus said. "Anyway I've made quite a few in my lifetime. It meant nothing. It's in the past."

"What if it wasn't a mistake," Alec murmured, tapping his index finger on the coffee cup. He had no idea where it came from. All he knew was that what Magnus was saying; sounding like he was shutting the door on any possibility of them. And he wanted to leave it open. So that when he was ready he could go through it. Maybe he was ready now.

"I'm not quite sure what you are trying to say," Magnus began.

"Come with me," Alec said, and then immediately stood up. He didn't even bother to turn around to make sure Magnus was following him. By the time he got to the alley he still hadn't turned around; he was breathing heavily and his hands were shaking.

"Okay so I'm in this sketchy New York City Alley with you now what is-" Hearing Magnus' voice behind him was all Alec needed. He spun around and grabbed him by the strings of his hoodie, pulled him close and kissed him. For once he had caught Magnus by surprise. He could feel it by the way that his face tensed up, but then he relaxed and started backing up into the wall behind them. Magnus' arms were around his waist in a second, and Alec noticed that he hadn't done that either of the two times they had kissed. He liked it. It made him feel safe. It made him feel like that even if somebody caught him kissing a guy behind a building, none of it would matter. Nothing would change.

For the first time he realized, maybe it wasn't just kissing a boy that felt right. Maybe it was kissing Magnus.

 **A/N: Okay so before people ask no Alec isn't going to be completely out. I don't even know if he's going to pursue a** _ **real**_ **relationship with Magnus. For me Alec's whole thing doesn't just have to do with him being gay, it also has to do with his inability to truly open up to anybody. So sorry you're going to have to deal with impromptu make out sessions behind alleys and Alec saying that their relationship is nothing but physical. Also I apologize for the millions of grammar mistakes I probably made.**

 **Oh and sorry that there was no flashback. I'm rationing them.**

 **Don't forget to review and tell me what you want to see. And be on the look out for a new addition to my Malec one-shots. (Which you should go check out if you haven't already).**

 **Until next time :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi strangers! I hope you are all well, and enjoying Shadowhunters. I am. Even though Malec is pain. It hurts. Can't they just get married. They should just shamelessly rush the plot along like me. And then cause unnecessary angst like I'm about to do. God I just love them so much it hurts and they should have gotten more than one kiss.**

 _Tear In My Heart_ by Twenty One Pilots

 _You fell asleep in my car_

 _I drove the whole time_

 _But that's okay_

 _I'll just avoid the holes_

 _So you sleep fine_

Kissing Magnus was like walking on air. Alec felt weightless, and it was like the sun, the moon, and the stars were within his reach. In the last few weeks, Alec had lost track of how many times he'd kissed him. Every time they were alone, it seemed like one of them was pulling the other against them. All of it was passionate and casual. Something Alec never thought he would enjoy as much as he did.

Nothing in his life made him feel this free. Like he was doing something for himself. Bending the rules had never come naturally too him, but Magnus taught him a long time ago that there were rules that were made to be broken.

 _Flashback_

" _You can't use your hands in soccer," Alec said as Magnus picked up the ball he had kicked to him. "It's against the rules."_

 _"Says who?" Magnus asked and tossed the ball to Alec, who let it fall to the ground at his feet where he thought it belonged._

" _It's like the universal rule of soccer," Alec said, he was waving his hands in frustration. For once, just once, couldn't Magnus just not make everything difficult._

" _What about the goalie?" Magnus mentioned and sat down in the grass before he could kick the ball again, already having lost interest in the game. After picking up the ball, Alec walked over to him, closing the gap between them, and sat across from him._

" _What about the goalie?" Alec asked, picking at the blades of grass that were still a little wet from the rain the night before._

" _He can use his hands, and kick the ball," Magnus explained. "He plays both ways."_

 _At first Alec did not understand what he was talking about, but then it hit him "Oh my god," He said and threw the grass he had been picking at Magnus._

" _What?" He asked with a smile, pretending to be clueless._

" _Is everything a metaphor for bisexuality too you," Alec complained._

" _Pretty much," Magnus said. "I've been told I can be very poetic."_

" _You're impossible," Alec shook his head._

" _Oh I assure you I'm quite real," Magnus assured him. "You can pinch me if you want."_

 _Alec found himself blushing, and he turned away so Magnus would't see. He couldn't understand how a person could be so confident, how they had the courage to say whatever they want, do whatever they want, and be whoever they want. Maybe someday he could be like that._

Present Day

"Did you see that goal?" Jace asked as he walked backwards in the dark hallway. The school had been deserted hours ago, with only the soccer team staying behind to practice.

Alec laughed, "Yes I saw. But it was just a scrimmage calm down."

"If I play like that during the game Saturday there is no way anybody can beat us," Jace pushed his long hair out of his eyes, that was still wet from showering.

Jace was the star, he always had been. And Alec would never understand why on the first day of school all of those years ago, he'd sat down next to him, completely overlooking his ratty oversized sweater with a giraffe on it, and declared the two of them were going to be best friends. Both of them started playing soccer everyday after school. For Alec, it was to make his sports crazy father proud of him, and for Jace it was a way for him not to go home. Wherever home was that week. Whenever he landed in a bad one, Alec would let him crash at their house, nobody ever really noticed he was missing.

A few years ago, he got lucky and finally landed in a decent home with his foster father Hodge. The two fought non-stop, but in some way Alec figured the man cared for him. He taught chemistry at the high school, and he always kept an eye on Jace, making sure he didn't get in trouble. He even came too some of their games, which was more than could be said about any of his other foster parents.

Once Alec had asked Jace if he ever thought that Hodge might adopt him. His friend had just laughed and said that once you get to a certain age, and you've made enough mistakes, people just stop wanting you.

Jace's phone buzzed in his back pocket, and he stopped walking to see who it was, nearly causing Alec to run into him.

"It's Clary," He said, all of his features going soft. "She's waiting for me in the art room."

"Well then why are you still talking to me," Alec said and walked past him. If Jace had ditched him to hang out with Clary a few months ago, he would have been furious. The two of them had never put anyone before each other before, so seeing Jace car for someone so much was a foreign concept. Now he understood, in a way. Maybe he didn't love Magnus, but he knew what it was like to need to be near someone so much that nobody else seemed to matter

"Do you need a ride home?" Jace called after him.

"No," Alec called over his shoulder. "I've got someone waiting for me."

Magnus always parked on the far side of the school. Usually people only parked there when they were late, and everywhere in the front parking lot was taken. But after school it was always empty.

Cars usually defined a person's personality, or how other people saw them. Alec, like every other basic rich boy, owned a Porsche. Actually, Alec loved his car, he treated it like his child. Rarely did he ever drive it to school, the people that went there were animals, and this being a school in New York meant parking was very limited, and he was not about to try and squeeze it between two mini vans people borrowed from their moms.

However Magnus, who was a flamboyant extrovert, owned a pick up truck. Out of all the cars he could have picked, he chose this old piece of junk that looked like it would fall apart if it as much as dinged another car's bumper.

Yet Alec still got into that truck, knowing that by riding in it he was possibly risking certain death, with only the promise of Magnus. Magnus, who he was definitely _not_ in love with, but was the only thing that made the idea of going home bearable. Those five minutes it took for him to get back to his house had become his favorite part of the day. He opened up more talking to Magnus for a few minutes, than he did in a life time of talking to anyone in his family. And sometimes Magnus would realize he didn't want to go home, and he'd turn a five minute ride into twenty minutes. Pretending that he made a wrong turn, or that he was lost. Secretly he wished that he would just keep driving. Far away from New York, where he felt like he stood out like a sore thumb. Unlike every other person, he was plain, uncomfortable with who he was. He wanted to be in a place where he could dream, not where dreams came true.

Today he had streaks of silver in his hair, something he must have done last night because they certainly weren't there yesterday afternoon. For whatever reason he thought it brought out the flecks of green in his eyes, it made Magnus look very magical. Like he had all of this power and energy radiating from him.

He reached over and pulled Magnus down onto him, hating every agonizing moment before their lips touched. They'd become used to each other, and every movement was rhythmic and in sync. Suddenly Alec felt the hem of his shirt being lifted up, and then felt Magnus's cold fingers on his abs, sending a shiver up his spine. Alec reached up and ran his fingers through Magnus' hair, subconsciously separating the black and silver strands.

This felt right. It was the only thing that had ever felt right.

As Alec pulled away, Magnus seemed to chase the kiss. This made Alec happier than he would ever know, the feeling that someone actually wanted him. And if he had time he would have kissed him a dozen times over. Sadly, there was no way for the two of them to just stay like that forever.

"We have to go," Alec breathed. "I've got a family dinner tonight."

Magnus chuckled, but his eyes widened and it turned into a groan as Alec sat back in his seat.

"What? You're serious," Magnus leaned back, and brought his hand to his forehead. "You hate your family."

"I love Izzy. And my mom is okay most of the time," Alec corrected him. "My dad is the problem."

"Oh daddy issues, that's hot," Magnus started the car, and the engine made a sound that did not sound pleasant.

"I'm serious," Alec huffed and sank into his seat, crossing his arms like a stubborn child.

"Okay, fine," Magnus said just as he started pulling out of the parking lot. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about my father? No not particularly," Alec chuckled.

"For a guy who claims he hates his dad you sure go through a lot to get his approval," Magnus pointed out.

He leaned his head against the window and shut his eyes. They'd driven this route so many times, and he'd memorized every office building, every market, and where each street vendor chose to set up shop. He could predict every turn they were going to make right down to the second it happened. This kind of routine consistency gave Alec comfort. Everything was in the right place, and it all occurred at the right time.

"My family is always in the public's eye. There is talk of my father running for president next term. I have to keep up appearances, not for him, but for my entire family," Alec explained.

"How is it important for your family that you be miserable?" Magnus inquired.

"I'm not miserable," And when he said it, he realized it was only half of a truth. There were times when he was sad, not depressed, just sad. Honestly though, ever since Magnus came back into his life, things weren't total crap. For some reason, it was like he wasn't living a complete lie anymore. Or at least, he was telling the truth to one person.

"Whatever you say sunshine," He heard Magnus say. Alec opened one eye for a second to see that Magnus was smiling as he turned the steering while. He was glad he got to witness that, Magnus' smile was still his favorite thing about him.

''Sunshine?" Alec laughed, both of his eyes shut again. Real sunshine was something he never really got to see. Sure, there were sunny days in New York, but it always seemed kind of cloudy. He wanted to bask in sunshine in California, or Florida. Yeah, he wanted to know what that was like.

"You know like the song, You Are My Sunshine," Magnus said and then slowly started humming the melody of the song.

"Oh no," Alec's eyes flew open, knowing full well what was about to happen. "Do not start singing. If you start singing I will get out of this car."

"You know I wasn't going to sing," Magnus started to say. "But now…"

"I'm serious," Alec muttered, just as Magnus made a comically large deal of clearing his throat. "Don't you dare."

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away" Magnus sang and Alec buried his face in his hands. But it was obvious he was laughing, which is what made Magnus want to continue.

"Stop," Alec demanded, but it was in a playful tone. Underneath his hands, his face was red not from laughing so hard, but from blushing.

"I refuse to stop until you sing with me," Magnus told him, and then continued. "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear I was mistaken. So I just hung my head, and cried."

"Focus on driving," Alec said and pointed at the road in front of them. New York traffic could be very difficult to navigate, and Magnus was tapping his head against the steering wheel bobbing his head.

"Sing with me and at least act happy, and I will stop," Magnus promised. "I mean you aren't miserable, right?"

"Okay," He sighed. "Only because I don't want to die.''

Magnus took his hands off the wheel for a second to clap his hands, and then he continued singing. Belting out every syllable of a song that was supposed to be sweet and innocent, in a way that only he could.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," Alec sang with him. He knew this song by heart. Once upon a time he had a nanny, because it wasn't like either of his parents had time to take care of him. Whenever he got sad because he hadn't seen either of them in awhile, his nanny would put this song on the old record player his dad kept in the study. Thinking about it now, he was sure she wasn't supposed to be using it, but there was something about hear music on vinyl that Alec found more comforting than a CD.

She hadn't been a good singer. Neither was Magnus, but Alec wasn't any better. It wasn't important though. Because even though Alec had never been much of a singer, what they were making was beautiful.

When they got to the first few lines of the second verse, where it said "I'll always love you and make you happy, if you will only say the same" he could feel Magnus staring at him. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he felt like he was actually trying to ask him the question. The more he tried to ignore it the more it started nagging at him. They'd both said early on they didn't want anything serious. Magnus just needed a distraction; and Alec well, he just needed to feel something.

"Please don't take my sunshine away," Alec's voice trailed off at that last line. Things were going to well in his life right now. It wasn't natural. Not for a Lightwood. And he felt like he'd just jinxed it.

"See that was fun, right?" Magnus asked, turning to him, making Alec motion to the road again, causing Magnus to snap out of it.

"I guess," Alec shrugged. "Just remember you promised to never do it again."

"Actually,"Magnus said and Alec's heart sank. "I said I would stop singing. I didn't say for how long. So I chose, until the end of this car ride. Which is now."

The car stopped, and suddenly Magnus was taking the keys out of the ignition. How had he lost track of how much time they'd been in this truck?

Every part of him wanted to kiss Magnus again. Kiss him goodbye like a normal boyfriend would do. But they weren't boyfriends and they never kissed goodbye, because goodbye kisses were so final. They were a precautionary measure for in case you don't see each other for awhile. And not seeing each other didn't matter to them because this wasn't a relationship. This could be the last time they saw each other, and they'd be fine.

"Is that Camille?" Magnus asked, and Alec looked towards the front door, to see both her and Isabelle running down the front porch dress. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a slick high ponytail, as opposed to Izzy's hair that was flowing and curled passed her shoulders. The two of them were complete opposites both physically and mentally, and it was a mystery to Alec why they were friends. All they had in common was cheerleading. Which Alec didn't think Izzy even enjoyed that much anymore.

"Great, she must be here for dinner," Alec grumbled, and Magnus gave him a questioning look.

There were so many things to hate about Camille Belcourt. First of all she got everything she wanted, one way or another, she always got it. Things had been handed to her, she was more spoiled than Alec in the sense that her parents doted on her. Plus there was also the fact that she was a sneak two faced bitch that liked to ruin other people's lives just to pass the time between her pilates and reservations at five star restaurants. She was the kind of person who would act like her problems were bigger than yours, then turn around and rip your heart out and make you think it was your fault. The only way to keep her from destroying you was to become her friend in an act of self preservation. When he thought about it, Alec thought she'd make a great politician.

"Magnus!" Camille called; stretching out his name as she said it, while they climbed out of the truck. She took a quick look at Alec, crinkled her nose in disgust, and then looked away. The two of them had always only tolerated each other. Yet there was always tension between them, mostly because Alec secretly blamed her for Isabelle's descent into madness.

"Hey, Camille," Magnus said and looked a bit surprised when she crashed into him and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh the Lightwoods love me," Camille batted her long lashes at him. "I practically live here."

"And I'm helping her study for her genetics test," Isabelle added, but Camille just rolled her eyes. His little sister was like the live in tutor for the cheerleading team, and extremely under appreciated in that respect.

"Whatever," Camille shrugged. "Magnus what are you doing here?"

Magnus' eyes flickered over to Alec for just a second. Nobody had ever really caught Magnus driving Alec home before, and they really had never come up with an excuse in case it ever happened.

"He, uh, gave me a ride home," Alec said a little to quickly. Camille's eyes darted between the two of them, and Alec's heart was beating so fast he thought it would fall out of his chest.

"What about your boyfriend Jace?" Camille questioned. "Couldn't he have given you a ride home?"

"Jace isn't my boyfriend," Alec shook his head, and he saw Isabelle laughing behind Camille at her dork of a big brother.

"It was a joke Lightwood," Camille chuckled and gave him yet another disapproving look.

"Well you aren't a very funny person Camille," Magnus jumped to Alec's defense.

"Whatever you still haven't answered my question," She said taken aback.

"They are working on an english project together," Isabelle spoke up for the first time. "That's why you're here, right Magnus."

''Yes," Magnus nodded his head.

Alec had to give Camille props, because for what she lacked in book smarts, she made up for in people smarts. It was obvious as she looked at both of them, and especially Alec, that she wasn't buying it.

"Well we're going to go study in my room," Alec told them. All he wanted to do was get away from them, that he didn't think about giving Magnus a chance to come up with an excuse to leave.

"Actually, dinner is ready, and mom and dad have been waiting for you to get here," Isabelle reminded him.

"Oh, well I should probably leave then," Magnus said and turned around to get back in his truck."

"No, you should stay," Camille spoke up.

"I really don't like to intrude," Magnus told her.

"It's not a problem at all," Camille said, and Alec and Isabelle exchanged a look, wondering why Camille thought it was okay to speak for their family. "I will go tell Robert and Maryse right now."

Camille ran away from, the heels of her boots clicking against the pavement. He half expected Isabelle too run after her but instead she just stood there, staring at them.

"Should I just leave?" Magnus asked them.

"No," Isabelle shook her head. "If you don't show up now they'll definitely hate you, and think you're rude."

Magnus looked at Alec for approval and he just shrugged. "She's right."

"Well of course I am big brother," Isabelle started walking away from them. Then suddenly she stopped and turned around to smile at them. "You know for the record, I think that you'd make a much cuter couple with Magnus than Jace." And with that, she walked inside the house, leaving Alec to stand there with his mouth hanging open.

"Looks like I'm meeting your parents Alexander," Magnus said, trying to make light of the situation.

"They are going to hate you," Alec told him bluntly. For once he didn't care that Magnus had called him Alexander. He started pacing nervously. His parents were going to throw him out. Magnus wouldn't even have to tell them he was bisexual, they'd just assume he was gay by the way he looked.

"Just calm down," Magnus said and reached out and grabbed his wrist to make him stop moving. "Everything is going to be fine."

It took him a second to notice that Magnus' hand had moved from his wrist, and found its way to his own hand, and their fingers were intertwined. They had never really held hands before. Strangely he liked it. The way it felt. As if Magnus was giving him his strength and helping him regain his sanity.

Then he remembered where they were and pulled his hand away a little more insistently than he probably should have. Magnus looked hurt, but the way Alec saw it was that they both knew what this was. It wasn't a "holding hands" relationship. It couldn't be.

"We should go inside," Alec said looking down at the ground and shoving his hands in his pockets. "And I'm just going to apologize in advance for anything offensive my father says  
to you."

"I've dealt with homophobic people all my life," Magnus said as they started walking.

His mother wasn't really a homophobe. Obviously she wasn't very comfortable with it, but she didn't believe it was her place to tell anybody else how to live her life because it didn't affect her. He loved his mother, he truly did. She graduated from Princeton, she could have been anything she wanted to be. But then she got pregnant with him and settled for being a trophy wife for his father, who was most definitely homophobic. As a democrat and the governor of New York he obviously wouldn't go right out and say it.

"The dining room is down the hall and to the left," Alec told him when they got inside.

"I know, I've been here before," Magnus said.

"Right, the party," Alec remembered.

The two of them walked to the dining room in silence, and he could hear the shrill irritating voice of Camille the closer they got.

"Oh Magnus," She said when they walked in, and then patted the empty seat next to her. "Come sit by me."

After a second of hesitation, Magnus walked over to go sit by Camille. To do so, he had to walk past his father, who immediately stood up and reached his hand out to shake Magnus'.

"Robert Lightwood," He said and shook Magnus' hand. "And this is my wife Maryse."

"It's really nice to meet you both," Magnus nodded his head at Alec's mom, and she smiled softly at him the same way she did when she was introduced to Robert's politician friends.

Alec sat between Isabelle and his mother, who was sitting opposite of her husband, and as far away as she could get. He always figured that is why they made dining tables so comically large, and why spouses always sat at the ends of them instead of right next to each other. Sometimes you just needed to sit far away from someone.

He looked at his plate and saw a variety of vegetables and rosemary chicken. He'd never been a fan of chicken, and he knew he mentioned that to them at some point or another. It occurred to him that he didn't know if Magnus liked chicken either, or maybe he was a vegetarian. Sure he knew a lot about the old Magnus, but years had passed. And he had spent so much time talking about himself, that he'd never stopped too listen to him.

"So Magnus," Robert said as he sat down while straightening his suit jacket. "You moved here from Maryland?"

"Delaware, sir," Magnus corrected. "My dad got a job.""

"Ah yes, accounting from what Isabelle's told me," Robert said. "Must be hard transferring here in the middle of your senior year."

"It's difficult," Magnus admitted. "But I am getting used to it."

Robert nodded and was about to say something else when Camille started talking instead.

"Oh he's being modest Mr. Lightwood," Camille said bringing all the attention back to her. "He's made a ton of friends and everyone loves him. In fact he went on a date with Aline."'

"Oh Aline Penhallow, she is such a sweet girl," Maryse raved. "Very pretty, very smart too. I really wish you'd spend more time with her Isabelle-"

"Mom, stop," Alec cut her off, without glancing at her. He hadn't taken his eyes off of Magnus. He felt like he was going to throw up. Magnus was dating other people, and he shouldn't be so shocked, but Aline. He hadn't even known that they were friends. This just showed how little he knew about Magnus.

"Alexander your mother was just telling Magnus about what a lovely _girl_ he has chosen to date," Robert said to him through gritted teeth. "Don't embarrass us in front of our guests."

Magnus squirmed in his seat, while Camille's face had lit up as she watched the chaos she had created. Alec did not want to be here anymore, he couldn't deal with the new information and he didn't know why.

"I'm going to go to my room," Alec stood up from his chair.

''Alec," His sister whispered and it was almost like she was begging him to stay.

"I have a lot of homework to do," He said trying to remain composed. "Plus I hate chicken."

He didn't look at Magnus as he left, because he didn't want to know what he was thinking. And he could always tell what Magnus was thinking just by looking at him. Obviously he knew that he was acting like a child by storming off to throw a tantrum, but he was just so confused. All of the sudden he just had all of these feelings, more emotions than he had ever had in his life. Lately, it was like he hadn't even taken a chance to breath.

Alec had rushed into this thing with Magnus. Impulsive, that was the word. He'd done this all impulsively. And he'd gone into this thinking that it would be easy. Easy to do something casual. But you don't wait for someone for four years for it to just turn into something casual.

He wanted to slam his bedroom door, he desperately wanted to be a cliché. Instead he left it open and went straight to his desk and sat down.

His walls were bare, and everything was very plain. There weren't a lot of trinkets, and it wasn't at all cluttered like Isabelle's. On his twelfth birthday he'd brought a trash bag up to his room, and thrown out everything he didn't need. All of his toys, and every poster was stripped from the wall. That's how a twelve year old spent his birthday, because that was the day that he realized he didn't belong in New York. It was the day he decided that as soon as he could he was leaving. And to leave he needed no attachments, it made things easier.

Now here he was wishing he had something to distract him. If he was a normal teenager he'd have piles of laundry to fold, or video games to play. He had nothing. Absolutely nothing. Having nothing meant he was going to have to sit there alone with his thoughts. And he was for fifteen minutes. That silence was probably the hardest thing he'd ever gone through. He thought about his parents, Isabelle, Max, but most of all he thought about Magnus. Tried to figure out what Magnus was to him. However he couldn't separate who he truly was from who he wanted to be. He couldn't see a difference. Let alone determine which was which.

"So this is your room, huh?" Alec looked up to see Magnus leaning against his door frame.

"Wow my father let you up here," Alec chuckled, and it was then that he realized he was on the verge of tears. He'd been so deep in thought that he hadn't even noticed. Tears were slowly trickling down his cheek in front of Magnus. Great, that meant that Magnus would think that he was crying because of him. Which he partly was, but Magnus didn't need to know that.

"Well we are supposed to be working on an english project together," Magnus pointed out and started walking in. "That's probably why."

"No he thinks you are completely straight," Alec's voice caught in his throat as he struggled to hold back tears. Stopping himself from crying was never something he'd been good at. "Could you shut the door please." Magnus cocked his head a bit like a confused dog, but complied.

"You know you're being ridiculous right," Magnus came over and sat at the edge of his bed, right across from his chair, where he was forced to look into his stupid eyes. His stupid gorgeous eyes.

"I know," Alec admitted. "But you never told me you went on a date with Aline."

"So what," Magnus asked. "We aren't exclusive. We aren't in a relationship. You have made that very clear when you wouldn't even hold my hand."

"Fine, you want me to hold your hand,, fine I'll hold your hand," He reached out to grab Magnus' hands but he pulled them away, and until that moment he didn't think he could feel more hurt.

"For the record I didn't go on a date with Aline," Magnus explained. "She needed my help with something so went out for coffee."

"We went out for coffee once," Alec mentioned. "And ended up making out in an alley."

"I'm telling you it wasn't like that," Magnus tried to assure him. "Camille saw us at the coffee house and it was easier to just lie and say it was a date."

"What did she want," Alec asked, because he couldn't imagine what she needed from him that she couldn't get from her endless amount of friends.

"I can't tell you," Magnus said. "I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone."

It wasn't fair for him to be furious, but he was. "You have too many secrets. And I hate secrets. I'm starting to realize I'm not good with secrets."

"Alexander, this whole thing we're doing is one big secret," Magnus pointed out.

"Do you still do photography?" Alec asked ignoring the point he was trying to make. "You take all of these art and acting classes, but you've never mentioned taking a photography class."

"I gave up on taking pictures the moment there stopped beautiful things to take pictures of," Magnus answered him.

"Would you stop doing that?" Alec pleaded. "Just answer a yes or no question with a yes or a no. You don't have to be so poetic."

"I honestly don't know what you want from me here," Magnus admitted.

"Well neither do I because I don't know anything about you," Alec said and he was practically shouting.

"Well people usually get to know each other on dates," Magnus said and he sounded frustrated.

"I know," Alec said. "Maybe we should try one of those."

"A date?" Magnus questioned.

"I'll plan it," Alec insisted. "I mean even if this is going to be a secret, and I hate secrets, what's stopping us from getting dinner or any of that other crap."

"It's a date then," Magnus said and stood up. "Now if you excuse me I have to go home and feed my cat."

"You have a cat?" Alec asked him, a little shocked by the fact that this had never come up.

"Chairman Meow," Magnus told him. "And these are the kinds of things that you find out on a first date." Magnus got up and gave him this awkward wave, kind of like he didn't know what else to say.

"Wait," Alec grabbed his arm. "Kiss me goodbye."

Magnus raised an eyebrow, "We've talked about this extensively. Kissing goodbye is something that couples do."

"I know," Alec stood up and took a step forward.

"And your parents could walk in at any second," Magnus cautioned him.

"I really don't care," Alec said to him.

When Magnus laughed, Alec thought he was making fun of him. Then he realized it was a happy laugh, and soon he was laughing too. Magnus reached out and cupped and his face between his hands and kissed him. For once their kiss wasn't made up of both of them desperately trying to cling to every inch of each other. It was soft and gentle, and they both were taking the time to take each other in. Because goodbye kisses were something that people did when they wanted to be kissed again. They were what you held onto until the next time. And Alec really wanted there to be a next time.

 **A/N: I don't know how I feel about that chapter especially the beginning. But y'all deserved something after months of me being dead. So yeah here is whatever this is. Thanks for all the reviews that kept coming in. I don't know how people keep finding this story especially since its been so long. But I want you to know in case I don't message you to thank you that I read all of them and try to get back to everybody but I lose track of who I have thanked sometimes. I'll update more and try to make the next chapter more story and less dialogue. Until next time…whenever that will be. Also it's late and I don't know if my intitial grammar check went well but I'm just really tired. I really could use a beta reader if anyone is interested. I've never really had one before but if you are interested let me know.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: As always sorry for taking so long to post another chapter…but summer is finally here. Which hopefully means that between my AP US History and AP Lit summer assignments I'll have time to write. Who knows, maybe by the time summer is over I will have wrapped this story up. I see it having fiveish more chapters, it's never been my intention to write a story that drags on for 30 chapters, mostly because I don't have that good of an attention span, but also I don't wanna risk it losing its appeal by just overcomplicating the plot. I have some other stories planned for after though that I'll tell about when we get closer to the end. All I can say is that they won't be coming out/coming of age stories. Also I really really need a beta reader because I hate reading my own writing it makes me cringe. So when I do skim over it after posting I see all of these mistakes and ahh. If you are interested let me know I would really appreciate it.**

Sometimes Alec felt as if he was taking up space. He couldn't really explain it, it was just a thought that he had that sat like a rock in the pit of his stomach. It was like he was a textbook someone stuffs in their backpack, that even though they never really need it, they keep it there just in case, or because they simply forget to take it out. And when they give the textbook back at the end of the year, and their bag is ten times lighter, they wonder why they ever let it weigh them down in the first place, because suddenly they literally felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Alec knew he was a constant, he was reliable; yet at the same time he might as well be dead weight because nobody needed him anymore.

When they were younger, Isabelle would always hold his hand when they crossed the street. Even if their parents even happened to be there, she would reach around them to grasp for Alec's hand. It had always made Alec feel important. He had a job, and that job was to keep his little sister safe. And that became how he built relationships. Not just with his sister but with his friends; with Jace. The one that people could always count on to be there. Just in case they needed him. For awhile, they had needed him. But somewhere along the road, he had become the textbook that just weighs you down.

So when Alec reached instinctively for Isabelle's hand as they crossed the street, he wasn't shocked when he felt nothing but cold wind blowing between his fingers. She hadn't needed to hold his hand in years, and she probably never would again. Instead she had both hands wrapped firmly around a carmel mocha, she hadn't even noticed Alec's outstretched hand, she never did. Alec quickly shoved his hand back into his coat pocket, silently cursing himself for not being able to break the habit.

As they walked, he tucked his chin into his chest, trying to protect his face from the biting wind. Alec absolutely detested the cold, and despite having lived in New York his entire life, he usually preferred to drive, especially in months like November when the wind brought most of the chill. Today though, Isabelle had needed a ride, and there weren´t really any parking spaces near that apartment, and Alec had never been good at parallel parking. So he'd settled instead on parking a few blocks away by a coffee shop (and Izzy just _had_ to buy something or else it wouldn't be polite), leaving them to walk. Part of him was worried that the car would get stolen, but Izzy assured him he was being paranoid. Apparently he was very "sheltered", and assuming that people wanted to carjack him just because the people in the neighborhood had less money was very prejudice.

Another gust of wind hit them as they got closer to the building Izzy needed to be at, causing him to shiver violently, which made Izzy just shake her head.

"You know you could have just dropped me off," Isabelle insisted as she pushed dark strands of hair out of her face.

"I have a friend that lives here," Alec shrugged, but Isabelle's raised eyebrow seemed to be pushing him for more information that he was surprisingly willing to give. "Magnus lives close by."

"Oh," Izzy said softly and tapped a manicured finger against her cup, like she wanted to say something but knew he shouldn't. He knew that he could have very easily lied, but he didn't really see the need to anymore. It was Izzy. She wouldn't care.

"I mean, I guess he isn't really my friend…" Alec let his voice trail off, giving both of them time to let what he was saying sink in. This wasn't something he wanted to go right out and say. Not that he was scared, it was just awkward, saying what they both already knew.

"You mean?" Isabelle said cautiously, and it was obvious she was fighting the smile that was trying to form, and Alec simply nodded in response.

To give his sister credit, she managed to stay composed for ten whole seconds. However it didn't take long for her to tackle him with a hug, giggling which was uncharacteristic of her. Alec didn't wait to hug her back in response.

"Wow you're certainly happy that I'm gay," Alec teased. Isabelle pulled away from him and hit him in the shoulder.

"I'm not happy that you're gay you idiot, I knew that," Isabelle rolled her eyes but she was still smiling. "I'm happy that you're in love."

"Whoa," Alec put his hands out as if to tell her to slow down. "I'm not _in love_."

Again, Isabelle just rolled her eyes. She proceeded to grab his hand and pretty much drag him the rest of the way. In this moment he was reminded of his sister when she was younger. Always smiling, laughing uncontrollably, and was always more than willing to take his hand. He missed that Isabelle. Lately however, she'd seemed happier. Definitely not over the moon or a ray of sunshine, but there was a light in her eyes; one that she wasn't desperately trying to fake.

The apartment building that they stopped at was nicer than most of the ones around it. So much so that it seemed out of place. He remembered his father droning on and on about gentrification, and how old poor neighborhoods were being fixed up by hipsters with fat bank accounts, therefore increasing property value. His father, who a ran a campaign promising wealth to everyone, was obviously for it. The more Alec thought about it though, the more he wondered about the people that once lived there. The ones who could no longer afford their rent. Where did they go? Living in New York was already expensive enough no matter where you lived, it was doubtful that people could afford jacked up prices.

"Who lives here?" Alec asked his sister as they walked up the stairs to the entrance.

"A friend," She told him with a small smile that formed at the corner of her lips.

"Oh come on," Alec sighed, and held the door open for her, and she brushed past him quickly, trying to avoid the conversation. "I told you about Magnus. And you can't tell me who you're studying AP Music Theory with." Until today, Alec hadn't even known she was taking that class. To which she had snapped at him saying he "did not know everything about her." Sure enough though she had the textbook and A- to prove it.

"Fine," Isabelle flipped her hair and promptly walked to the elevator. "I'm studying with Simon."

"Simon Lewis?" Alec exclaimed in disbelief.

"What's wrong with Simon," Isabelle countered hitting the elevator button rather forcefully, and Alec was a little bewildered at how defensive she got.

"Nothing, Simon's great," Alec tried desperately to not come off as a dumb jock. "I just thought you and Meliron..."

He failed.

"We are," Isabelle replied, tapping her foot impatiently since the elevator door still hadn't opened. "What? A girl can't be just friends with a guy while she's dating?"

"Yes of course you can- I just mean-I-I" Alec stuttered.

The elevator door dinged, and then opened. Isabelle just laughed, and then kissed her brother on the cheek. "I know you mean well, big brother," She promised him. She walked into the elevator and waved goodbye, which he took as a sign that his role as overprotective brother was done and she was qualified to walk to a door on her own.

"Don't walk to the car on your own, it will probably be dark, just wait for me to come here," He called to her just as the doors closed.

The doors closing seemed to signify the end of something. He'd come out to Isabelle. Things had gone so smoothly with her. So smoothly, in fact, that it wasn't until now that everything sunk in. She knew he was gay. This was the first time he had ever really come out. Willingly, at least. And it had gone so well.

He was naïve, of course. It wasn't going to be like this with everyone. Tell his parents someday was going to be difficult. But he had his sister. And he was sure that he could go through anything with her by his side.

The walk to Magnus' apartment only took a few minutes. Mostly because fast walked most of the way. His sister was right, he was shelter. And being in this part of the city made him feel uneasy. That was partly because he didn't get out much, and partly because of parents. Unlike Izzy, he clung to every word they said, he craved direction. Whereas Izzy took everything with a grain of salt. She didn't even forge her own path, she just charged forward into the unknown, taking every twist and turn head on.

He'd only been to Magnus' house the one time, the night after the party. Magnus had always been steadfast in avoiding his apartment. They always went to Alec's place anytime they needed to be alone. Nobody was ever really home anyways.

So maybe he should have called. He just really needed to see Magnus, he couldn't explain it. They hadn't really seen each other for a few days, save a few stolen glances in class Friday. And being apart, well, it felt like someone had sucked all the air out of his chest. Now it was Sunday, which would mean another week of risking a look at him, and working on their English project in the library, where everything was public. Isabelle coming to this part of the neighborhood was the perfect excuse for him to stop by. His parents were home which meant he couldn't invite him over without raising a few eyebrows between his parents. This was his only option.

The conversation he had with Raphael was like a track stuck on repeat in his head. He'd claimed that he had never seen Magnus' parents. Which meant Magnus was lying to him. A lot of the times it felt like everything he and Magnus were was built on lies. First the camera back at summer camp, and now this. Hell, their whole relationship was a secret, it was them lying to pretty much everyone he cared about. That wasn't Magnus' fault though. Them hiding what they were away was all on him.

When he got to the apartment complex (which still just looked like a crappy motel to him, the front doors were literally outside and there were only two floors) Raphael was carrying one of his little brothers, bridal style, into their apartment. They locked eyes for a moment, and there was something about the way Raphael look at him in that second that made him feel uneasy. Then Raphael set his brother down, and let him inside, and he just waved. By the time he had made up his mind on whether or not to wave back, Raphael had already gone in.'

Alec remembered which door Magnus had gone in that night. At the time he didn't even realize he'd done it. It just sort of stuck. He walked up the stairs, that creaked as he did so and gave him the sense that they were going to collapse at any second. This was definitely not the kind of place two parents, with stable jobs, would chose to live.

Before he knocked on Magnus' door, he made himself promise that he wasn't going to bring up the subject of Magnus' parents. He really didn't want to wreck this like he wrecked everything else. He was well aware of the fact that he tended to self destruct. That wasn't going to happen this time. He wouldn't let it.

There was a brief moment of hesitation before he knocked on the door. What if Magnus got mad at him for showing up like this. He definitely should have texted. It was too late now though. Well, no it wasn't he could probably leave now and Magnus would never know. But he wanted to see him so badly he was willing to risk it.

It took about minute after he knocked for Magnus to actually answer the door. When he did he opened the door open a crack first. Just enough for him to peek his head out, and for Alec to be able to see the look of shock cross Magnus' face. Alec looked down at his feet, much to nervous to meet his eyes. His shoe laces were as frayed as his sweater, and Alec realized that he must look like a mess.

Magnus opened the door wider, "Alexander?" He asked, confusedh

He was dressed casually in a grey v-neck, and black skinny jeans. His hair was gelled back, but parts of it were sticking up, and his eyeliner was smudged, as if he'd been sleeping. For some reason Alec never really thought of Magnus doing things like taking naps; it was to normal. And Magnus Bane was anything but normal.

"H-Hi," Alec found himself struggling to find the words he needed, even though he'd rehearsed them over and over. He went back to looking at the ground again, but instead of looking at the ground again, he found his eyes drawn to Magnus' fuzzy bright green socks. This made him smile, because for some reason he found it extremely adorable. It gave him a small boost of courage to glance up at Magnus' face again. This time he noticed that Magnus was grinning, he was actually happy to see him. "I'm sorry to just show up like this, I was just in the neighborhood dropping off Isabelle, and I thought I'd, um, well I thought I'd take you on that date I promised.

Magnus' smile grew at the corner of his lips, making Alec's face turn bright red. "Come on in," Magnus said, opening the door wider and making room for him to come in. Alec obliged, a little taken a back by his willingness.h

"My parents are out right now," Magnus told him. "They won't be back until later." Alec just nodded, pretending to believe him, because as he looked around the apartment, it was obvious that no adult had ever lived there. The apartment appeared to be one big room, the bed was in the same place as what looked like was a living room, and the kitchen was tucked in the back corner of the apartment. The furniture wasn't much better. There was a worn out black couch, that once upon a time could have been nice, but now looked like it could have been picked up off of a street corner.

The bed looked nice though. He didn't know why that was important to them. That's a lie. Of course he did.

"We haven't talked in awhile," Alec mentioned, and Magnus just nodded. After what happened at dinner with his parents, they had mutually decided that it was a bit too risky for Magnus to keep driving him home.

"Did you miss me?" Magnus wiggled his eyebrows, trying to make it come off as a joke, but his voice was serious. As if he was genuinely worried that Alec hadn't missed him at all.

"Would I be here if I hadn't" Alec said sheepishly, and out of the corner of his eyes he Magnus' face light up.

"So a date on a Sunday night?" Magnus tilted his head, his cat like eyes were full of curiosity.

"I mean I know its not ideal, but I just didn't want to go another week without talking to you," Alec said that last part.

"Wow Alec Lightwood can't go a whole week without talking to me. I'm living the dream," Magnus joke.

"Shut up," Alec rolled his eyes. He was blushing again, and when he blushed his face got bright red and he looked like a tomato.

"Make me," Magnus said and took a few steps towards Alec. He started leaning in for a kiss but Alec put a hand in front of his face, which gained him a very disappointed look from Magnus.

"I don't kiss on the first date," Alec told him. Magnus' mouth curled into a pout, but Alec just shook his head. Secretly, he was a little happy to have the upper hand for once, if upper hand was even the right term to use. He always felt like Magnus had more control in whatever their relationship was. It wasn't a bad thing, but unlike Alec, Magnus had done this before. It was all new to Alec. Initiating a date was what he needed to feel, well, needed.

"What are we going to do on this date," Magnus asked.

"I thought we could go on a walk," Alec suggested, and then added, "if that counts as a date."

'It counts," Magnus assured him. "It sounds nice." Magnus walked over to the front door, where a pair of black converse sat. He put them on, and as soon as he had, he quickly opened the front door, like he couldn't wait to get out of his own apartment.

"It's windy out there," Alec warned him. "Maybe you want a jacket."

"I'll be okay," Magnus promised, and then he held the door open for Alec. "After you."

Alec walked out the door and Magnus followed him out, locking the door behind them. Next door two people were shouting each other.

"Thin walls," Alec commented.

"Cheating husband," Magnus added as he turned the door knob to make sure the door was really locked.

"If you love her so much why don't you marry her, Charlie!" A woman screamed.

"Because Brenda," Charlie yelled back. "I'm stuck married too you!"

"Don't yell at me in front of the cat!" Brenda demanded.h

"Well where am I supposed to yell at you," Charlie countered. "Our apartment is smaller than my old cell."

Alec didn't realize his mouth was hanging open. His parents hated each other, but they never argued like this. If they did they never did it in front of him.

"You live next to a felon," Alec looked up at Magnus with wide eyes.

"Most people here have a history, it doesn't bother me," Magnus shrugged. He took Alec's hand, which seemed to snap him out of his confusion. "Come on we shouldn't eavesdrop." Alec intertwined his finger's with Magnus' ringed ones, and let him lead him away.

"Our apartment?" He heard Brenda shout as they left. "I don't see your name on the lease? You can call it _our_ apartment when you get a god damn job!"

The two of them continued holding hands as they walked down the stairs, Magnus holding so tightly that it made Alec think that it was more about leading him away than keeping him close.

When they got to the parking lot, however, Magnus kept their hands clasped together, making Alec glad that he hadn't listened to his instincts and let go.

"Where do you want to walk too?" Magnus asked him. It was a fair enough question, and Alec hadn't really thought that far ahead.

"I don't know," Alec admitted sheepishly. "I don't get around this part of the neighborhood a lot."

Magnus grinned, and Alec recognized what this meant almost immediately. He could practically hear the gears shifting in his head, and picture the cob webs being brushed away.

"I know the perfect place," Magnus declared, and caught him off guard by bringing his knuckles up to his mouth and lightly kissing them. Somehow that seemed even more intimate than actual kissing, and Alec's face flushed with red. Magnus seemed to notice what he had done, and dropped Alec's hand. "Sorry. That doesn't count as a kiss, right?"

"N-no" Alec tried to reassure him, because after he'd gotten over the initial shock of it he had realized he quite enjoyed it. Then he noticed the absence of Magnus' hand in his, and quickly scrambled for it again.

A smile slowly crept back on to Magnus' face, and he started walking, with Alec starting only a second later. All of it felt different then the other times he had been with Magnus. Before he had felt like they were Romeo and Juliet, which Alec had always perceived as a casual affair and not a star crossed romance. The two had known each other for a few days and only really had a few real conversations. He could picture Shakespeare laughing at how seriously people had taken it. He seemed like the kind of guy that would pull practical jokes on an entire population.n

This felt real to him. He felt like they were a couple and not lovers. Just by holding hands and walking down the street. Funny how that was thing he needed to feel like he was cared for. It had been that way with Isabelle, and now he was here with Magnus. Two different kinds of affection but two he treasured all the same.

"What's your favorite color?" Magnus asked out of the blue.

"What?" Alec asked quizzically still staring at their interlocked hands.

"On dates you are supposed to learn more about each other," Magnus explained. "So tell me your favorite color."

Alec thought back to the fuzzy socks Magnus had been wearing. "Green," He decided. "What about you?"

Magnus didn't hesitate, "Purple. But not bright purple. Dark dusty purple. Metallic is good too."

Alec nodded and let this sink in, he wanted to remember everything Magnus said tonight. Grasp onto all of it and not let go.

"Favorite music?" Alec asks. You could tell a lot about a person by the music they listened to.

"Nothing you've probably heard," Magnus told him.

"Try me," Alec challenged him.

"I like the old stuff. Billy Joel, The Beatles, oh and Queen is great," Magnus rattled off the list. The name Billy Joel rang a bell, he remembered that Magnus had mentioned him at summer camp. The other two, were household names. Somehow it made sense that Magnus would enjoy older music, because when he looked into his eyes he could swear he was gazing into the eyes of someone who had lived for centuries and seen things beyond anyone's wildest dreams.

"You see I like more alternative music, Jaymes Young and Panic at the Disco," He told him.

"Edgy," Magnus laughed, and Alec noticed for the first time that Magnus was rubbing circles on his palm with his thumb. This must be what being a couple was like. Walking down the street without being scared that anybody was going to see you. And it wasn't that he didn't think anybody would see him, he just didn't care. For some reason something in his mind had shifted and he just didn't give a fuck. Sure he was scared, he'd always be scared. Fear was something you were meant to overcome. And to Alec, if there was something out there that scared you shitless, then it was probably worth it.

Magnus scared him.

And he was worth everything.

"I told my sister about us," Alec mentioned. He attempted to keep walking, but was pulled back by a pleasantly surprised Magnus. Alec imagined it came from the fact that he had come out, but Magnus apparently had other ideas.

"There's an us?" Magnus questioned. It took a moment for Alec to understand what Magnus was asking. Then he realized that the two of them had never had the relationship talk. Whether or not they were calling themselves a couple or not.

"Well, I assumed," Alec shrugged. "I mean-if you want us to be."

"Don't be an idiot Alexander," Magnus chuckled, grabbed the fabric of Alec's jacket and pulled him into the alley they were standing in.

"I am not making out with you in an alley again," Alec proclaimed making a reference to the coffee shop.

"No. We're here," Magnus said.

"You wanted to walk to an alley. How romantic," Alec said sarcastically.

"Would you shut your mind off for a second and just look around you," Magnus asked him.

He did't understand how he hadn't noticed before. The walls were painted, but not like graffiti, more like tiny individual murals. Different signatures and styles gave away that it had been painted on by multiple people. Part of him was saying this is vandalism. The rest of him was overtaken by an array of color and patterns. It was beauty in a place where things seemed bleak. He could understand why Magnus liked this place.

"How did you know this place was here?" Alec asked in awe.

"Do you see that painting over flowers over there," Magnus pointed to a painting of dead golden flowers slowly coming back to life. "It's Clary's."

"Fray painted that," He said in disbelief. He'd known she was talented but not this talented.

"She showed it to me around the time that I moved in," Magnus said. "More like dragged me here against my will." Alec chuckled, that sounded like her.

Alec ran the tip of his fingers against the brick wall. The colors stood out to him. He'd never seen so many in his whole life. Or at least he'd never noticed before. Everything around his house was so bland and colorless. But here it was so vibrant. There was life.

"Thank you for bringing me here," And as he said it he felt Magnus hesitantly wrapping his arms around him from behind. Again, he was caught off guard, but successfully avoiding tensing up. He wasn't used to this kind of intimate touching, it was strange to him. Yet he naturally found himself leaning back into the curve of Magnus' lean body.

"Anytime," Magnus said softly, resting his head on his shoulder. Alec allowed a sigh to escape his lips. He knew that soon he'd have to go get Isabelle. But he didn't want to leave, ever. This is where he wanted to be, he loved Magnus, and he wanted to stay.

Fuck. He'd finally admitted it. He was undeniably head over heels in love with Magnus Bane. Who's favorite color was purple and he loved Billy Joel. And sure he didn't know much else about him, but he was in love with him.

And that scared the shit out of him.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading. I know it was a short chapter, but I'll make it up in the next one. And trust me. That's one you don't want to miss. See you next time and don't forget to R &R. Also if you see grammar or spelling errors feel free to let me know so I can change them and make reading it a more enjoyable experience.**


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